Marriage Prep 101
Getting Ready for the Big Day
Now that We are Together
Teaching Strategy
The focus of this lesson is on changes after marriage. Of special note is how these changes work to strengthen the marriage and encourage growing closer.
Student Learning Outcomes
- Know: Understand the changes to the relationship following the wedding and their impact on the marriage relationship.
- Feel: Embrace the changes that take place in the marriage after the wedding.
- Do: Focus on God’s plan for marriage and grow closer together.
Body of the Lesson
Discussion Questions
Below are suggested questions to use during the guided discussion portion of the lesson. There are also suggested responses to questions to help students grasp the various concepts. These are provided to assist the discussion and are not considered as “right or wrong” responses.
The intent of this question is to review these concepts and their importance.
A measure of self-control – Self-control is essential for long-term relationships. In marriage, self-control helps us keep focused on the covenant we've made to one another.
As a possible follow-on question, discuss the relationship of the fruit of the spirit, especially self-control as a gift of the Holy Spirit and how they applies to marriage (Galatians 5:19-25). As in all things, when we turn our lives over completely to God, we submit ourselves to Him and His Spirit lives within us and helps us in our spiritual journey. The spiritual gift of self-control applies to all areas of our life, including our marriage.
Happiness and satisfaction with life – Generally, people ready for marriage are happy and satisfied with their life. The expectation is their happiness and satisfaction with life will increase through the marriage.
Shared values – A successful long-term relationship contains shared values, especially in matters of their relationship with God.
Willingness to learn – Marriage partners must learn from one another and adapt and change as they enter the marriage and sustain their lives together.
A new legal status – The marriage contract is legal and binding in many ways (ownership of property, wills, finances, guardianship of children, etc.) When we marry under the laws of a government, we are also legally married before God.
A new relationship (Matthew 19:5) – A new family has begun as God wills. It is an exclusive and permanent relationship. This takes precedence above all other relationships except our relationship with God.
A new identify – Our identity is now permanently linked to our spouse. Our individual hopes, dreams, joys, and sorrows are shared together. When others see us or think of us, it is a shared identity that includes our spouse.
A new role (Ephesians 5:22-28) – We are now placed in a special relationship with specific roles that carry expectations from God as well as from each other. A wife is the helper and companion to her husband. A husband loves, protects, and provides for his wife physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. These roles cannot be abdicated to another. As men, especially, we will be held accountable before God for how we've fulfilled these roles to each other and to God.
A new family (Genesis 2:24) – The family unit of one man/one woman in marriage was established by God. Our spouse becomes the primary focus beyond their other family ties.
Without showing your spouse your responses, write down your responses to the following questions on a separate sheet of paper or on the associated note guide:
- What are three things that remained the same after you were married?
- What are three things that changed after this time?
- What is one thing that surprised you?
When finished answering the questions, have a conversation with your spouse about your responses. Be willing to make changes as needed to strengthen your relationship.