Marriage Prep 101

Living together before marriage helps the relationship – This leads to or reinforces non-committal in the relationship. It's almost a self-fulfilling prophecy for failure.

1 Corinthians 6:9 warns against sexual immorality which is engaging in sexual activities outside of marriage. NOTE: A society may recognize homosexual marriage, but God does not. Therefore, practicing homosexuality is sexual immorality.

Have an affair to breath new life into your marriage – This is another violation of God's plan for a family of one man/one woman and sexual purity in the relationship. Sex outside of the marriage relationship in any form is sexual immorality.

Be prepared for sex to get boring – This myth can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy. While it is true that the sexual relationship in a marriage may change, it is not true that it will become boring.

Keep your independence – Dependence, or better yet, inter-dependence is at the heart of a successful and healthy relationship. Each partner in the relationship brings to the other what is needed to meet desires and needs. This is not a form of dependency that fosters control, rather it is a platform for a deeper love and commitment.

If your spouse really loves you, he/she will know what you want/need – Contrary to popular culture, neither of us are not mind-readers. Communicating with one another about our needs is a vital part of how couples grow closer together. Lack of communication is among the major reasons for difficulties in marriage.

Keep peace at all costs – This is not an honest ore truthful relationship. Some conflict is unavoidable. It doesn't mean there is an unhealthy relationship, rather, a healthy relationship helps us resolve conflicts when they occur. This has the effect of fostering an even closer and healthier relationship as it builds knowledge and trust between the two.

Always say what is on your mind – There is a difference between honesty and bluntness. Honesty is important but not when criticism is destructive. Tenderness and tactfulness are key to reenforcing trust and love in a relationship. If we must express something that is negative or critical, consider the other's feelings and the timing and delivery of our communication.

(Note: This might be a bit humorous if there are some anecdotes about how we said the wrong thing at the wrong time or in the wrong way.)

You can change your partner – We can help bring about change in others, but this must involve an awareness of our own shortcomings. Also, it usually takes a significant event, often negative, to change someone's core nature. If a person has core characteristics that are harmful or destructive, then change will be difficult at best. When change occurs, it often takes a long period of time. Further, be aware that what we think needs to change may in fact involve change in ourselves as well. Our way is not always the right or best way.

A baby will bring you closer – Children in a relationship can be a wonderful blessing. However, the reality is that children often magnify issues and situations in a relationship whether good or bad. They bring greater stress and challenges in all areas of the relationship.

Love is all you need – Love is critical but is only one ingredient (element) of a lasting and happy marriage. These include elements such as commitment, emotional maturity, and willingness to put your spouse first. These elements help forge a lifetime bond.

God's plan for marriage is one man for one woman. They are to be united in their relationship with each other and to be committed exclusively to each other. This is true in their physical, emotional, and especially spiritual relationship. Their marriage is intended to bring them closer to each other and in their relationship with God. When we demonstrate God's plan, we show the world the wisdom of God and bring glory to Him.

What was God's response as Adam saw there was not suitable mate for him, and what does this show about God's overall plan for His original design for a family?

God's response was to create a mate for Adam. This mate was a natural fit to fulfill the elements missing in Adam's life. By coming from Adam, she was made in his image (I Corinthians 11:7). From this we can understand that together, man and woman complete and complement each other.

What impact did sin have on the relationship between Adam and Eve?

Sin caused a rift between them as well as between them and God.

What was God's response?

God imposed a new structure and order into the relationship. He established man to have dominance over woman. This dominance was not intended from a selfish perspective, but one of responsibility and leadership.

• Respect and honor – A woman is equal in nature and value to man. (vs. 23)
• A change in priorities and responsibilities – The focus changed. (vs. 24a)
• An exclusive marriage union (vs. 24b)

The marriage relationship is based on a covenant, contract, or promise made to one another. This has the impact of fulfilling God's design of exclusivity. Note: In a similar way, God's original plan was an exclusive relationship between Him and us, His creation (Exodus 20:1-60).

Emotionally – We were not created to be alone (Genesis 2:18; I Corinthians 7:7; Proverbs 18:22)

Physically – The gift of a healthy sexual nature is satisfied by God's design. Contained within this is sharing love, comfort, support, and the way to procreate as God intended.

Spiritually – It helps us carry out our roles given by God. The union of husband and wife helps us render honor and service to God.

When we follow God's design for the marriage relationship, we will see spiritual growth as we dedicate our lives to God and each other. Others will see this and learn by our example, especially our children.