Marriage Prep 101
Getting Ready for the Big Day
The 4 A's of a Successful Marriage
Part 1
Teaching Strategy
The focus of this lesson is on continuing to develop a successful marriage. Of special note is four basic concepts to help grow and sustain a closer relationship with our spouse. Given the amount of information of this lesson, it is recommended that it be presented in two lessons.
Student Learning Outcomes
- Know: Understand how to develop and sustain a successful and happy marriage.
- Feel: Appreciate the importance of continuing to work at a successful and happy marriage.
- Do: Apply the principles for developing and sustaining a successful and happy marriage.
Body of the Lesson
Discussion Questions
Below are suggested questions to use during the guided discussion portion of the lesson. There are also suggested responses to questions to help students grasp the various concepts. These are provided to assist the discussion and are not considered as “right or wrong” responses.
This question is a review of previous information.
A new legal status – The marriage contract is legal and binding in many ways (ownership of property, wills, finances, guardianship of children, etc.) When we marry under the laws of a government, we are also legally married before God.
A new relationship (Matthew 19:5) – A new family has begun as God wills. It is an exclusive and permanent relationship. This takes precedence above all other relationships except our relationship with God.
A new identify – Our identity is now permanently linked to our spouse. Our individual hopes, dreams, joys, and sorrows are shared together. When others see us or think of us, it is a shared identity that includes our spouse.
A new role (Ephesians 5:22-28) – We are now placed in a special relationship with specific roles that carry expectations from God as well as from each other. A wife is the helper and companion to her husband. A husband loves, protects, and provides for his wife physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. These roles cannot be abdicated to another. As men, especially, we will be held accountable before God for how we've fulfilled these roles to each other and to God.
A new family (Genesis 2:24) – The family unit of one man/one woman in marriage was established by God. Our spouse becomes the primary focus beyond their other family ties.
Use the introduction to the chapter as a discussion guide. Look for elements of:
- The power of the relationship – It affects everything in the relationship
- A standard for a successful life – Our marriage success impacts our values
- Unique opportunity – Marriage is a relationship that has impacts throughout our life.
- Response to pressures – There is pressure to succeed from family and society.
- Pattern – A happy marriage is also a response to the pattern presented to us by family and society
Marriage happiness is not guaranteed or temporary. Both couples make a commitment to each other's welfare, including physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual elements. As they mature, these elements will change, but their focus and need do not.
The elements of sexual attraction, similar interests, and idealism are part of the relationship, but are a foundation upon which the marriage builds for success.
The purpose of this activity is to help couples focus on the things in their marriage that are positive and supportive, and to see how they have grown closer in their relationship.
Have each partner write down five things that they appreciate about their spouse and how this has positively changed over the period of their marriage. Then have the couples discuss with each other the things on their list and how it makes them feel loved, secure, or appreciated in the relationship. If present, have the couples especially focus on the things that they both listed.