In Love for Life
Building or Rebuilding a Great Marriage
Keeping Your Spouse Happy
Teaching Strategy
The focus of this lesson is on achieving and maintaining happiness in a marriage. Emphasis is on practical ways for each partner in the marriage to keep each other happy.
Student Learning Outcomes
- Know: Understand God’s plan for marriage.
- Feel: Commit to following God’s plan for marriage.
- Do: Apply the concepts for building a lasting and loving marriage relationship.
Body of the Lesson
Discussion Questions
Below are suggested questions to use during the guided discussion portion of the lesson. There are also suggested responses to questions to help students grasp the various concepts. These are provided to assist the discussion and are not considered as “right or wrong” responses.
Look for responses centering around how our spouse is the most important person in our lives. We have made a covenant to meet his or her physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Meeting these needs forms a basis for a successful and enjoyable lifetime relationship.
Follow-up Question: Think of a time when your relationship was the happiest. What was the basis for this happiness?
I Peter 3:1 – Assume a role that is pleasing to him. Wives are to be submissive to their husband. This is a role prescribed by God. The wife is honored by God when she fulfills her role according to God's will. If the husband lacks the characteristics to be an effective leader in the family, then she must help him grow in this area and not subvert his role.
I Peter 3:2 – Develop attitudes that make him happy.
- A chase attitude – Sexually pure in word, dress, and action. The marriage relationship and all of its elements is exclusive between the husband and wife.
- A respectful wife makes him happy – Restrained in word and action.
I Peter 3:3-6 – Cultivate an appearance that makes him happy. Initially, men are generally attracted through visual stimulation. As the relationship matures, he must continue to be drawn to her, but from what he comes to see on the inside of his wife. He looks for a gentle and quiet spirit, doing what is right, and not being fearful (having appropriate confidence).
I Peter 3:7a – Live with your wife. The preposition "with" communicates that he is to be a part of her life beyond simply being a provider. This includes all areas of her life; physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. He is to be closely aligned with her. The husband must manage well all parts of the home (1 Timothy 3:4-5). Although addressed to elders, the principle applies to all men.
I Peter 3:7b – Knowing your wife. The word "knowing" used here means to treat her in an understanding way. The more we seek to understand our wives, the more success we will have in our relationship. We learn to understand her by:
- Being willing to share and listen to her;
- Being transparent and open with her;
- Being ready to forgive;
- Being sensitive and seeking to anticipate her needs (this implies seeking to fulfill her needs).
I Peter 3:7c – Honor your wife. We must hold our wives as precious to us, above all others. And, we must demonstrate this by word and actions. We value her role as equal in value to ours. Peter states that to not do so makes us hypocritical and unable to pray effectively to God.
- Use our strengths to serve and protect her.
- Tell her how much we appreciate what she does (Note: This implies we know what she does).
- Show respect for her in front of others. (Never, ever denigrate your wife in any way but especially not in front of others)!
- Do what you can to lift her load. This means doing the mundane or difficult things for her.
Consider ending this class by reminding both the husband and wife for the need to live in a way to be worthy of each other.