What parents and teens discuss a lot is what is or is not mature. Parents and teens do not have the same idea about what maturity means.
Teens think maturity means:
Having these things:
- Freedom to go, do what you want, when, where, how you want.
- Owning your own car, girl, etc.
- Leaving home for college or getting your own apartment.
Parents think maturity means:
Doing it their way with your money:
- You do what they think you should do (clean room, chores, be nice, go to church… whatever)
- You finally get a job and pay for your own car, girlfriend, stuff, etc.
- You get your own home, your own kids to argue with.
What God thinks maturity is:
- You want to do what He wants. The key is that you want not because your parents want, because you are afraid, but actually, because you want to do what pleases Him. And you would obey with or without your parents.
- Giving what belongs to you so others can grow and develop: they can mature.
Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.
- John 12:24
The point is that true maturity is seen when one realizes that they have the ability to help others and use it. Coaching, counseling, sharing, providing an example, giving to help something grow. This is a true sign of maturity
When you realize this earth is not a final stop.
If "all you want to do is have some fun" as Cheryl Crow sings, you do not get it yet! True maturity comes when you realize that heaven or hell is our final stop. Not this place. It is okay to have some fun but if that is all you want to do you are in trouble.
Most of the pressure and tension you feel with your parents and they with you is about maturity. When are you going to grow up? The problem is that both teens and parents want the same thing but do not see it the same way. The funny thing is that you want to grow up as much as they want you to!
I suppose the answer will come when both parents and teens work toward maturity in their own lives according to God's view of what is mature. My prayer is that you all mature according to God's view:
- You want to do what He wants.
- Give what you own to help others.
- Do not get too comfy here and remember to live like people going to heaven.