Marriage Prep 101
Getting Ready for the Big Day
What to Look for in a Man
The Ideal Man
Teaching Strategy
The focus of this lesson is on the qualities and characteristics to look for in a man for marriage. Of special note is a contrast between the modern version of an ideal man verses God’s ideal. It is recognized that although none of us are “ideal”, we can strive to become what God wants us to be. This is the first part of two. In the next lesson we’ll look at the ideal woman.
Student Learning Outcomes
- Know: Understand God’s version of the ideal man and woman for a lasting marriage.
- Feel: Recognize the importance of becoming who God wants us to be.
- Do: Work to become the version God wants us to be as an ideal man.
Body of the Lesson
Discussion Questions
Below are suggested questions to use during the guided discussion portion of the lesson. There are also suggested responses to questions to help students grasp the various concepts. These are provided to assist the discussion and are not considered as “right or wrong” responses.
Look for responses that include:
· He recognizes his role as a spiritual and moral leader, especially in the family. This is God's ideal for every father (Ephesians 5:25-33; Ephesians 6:4). It is the father's specific role that must not be abdicated to another. As fathers, we will be held accountable for this role.
· He recognizes his responsibility to support, protect, and lead the family. (I Timothy 5:8) Providing to the best of our ability is another critical aspect of being an ideal husband and father.
· He recognizes his role as a model for his children of quality character traits. As with being a spiritual leader in the family, the father must lead the family. This is best done through his personal example.
· He is dedicated in all ways to serving our Lord, especially in the home.
Collectively we see in the ideal the goodness, self-control, and dedication to wife and family. He also transfers these beyond the family to the workplace, marketplace, and society beyond. In doing so, his life brings glory to God and a good name for himself and his family.
Note Joshua's words in Joshua 24:15, "And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dewll. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Also note the references in Acts 10 with the conversion of Cornelius. Not only was he converted to our Lord, but so were all his household. This is due in large part to his personal spiritual leadership.
Note also in Acts 16 with the conversion of the Philippian jailer. He and all his family were baptized. Again, the Philippian was instrumental in bringing his family to the Lord.
Modern ideals:
- Physical looks – The world places a high premium on good looks.
- Potential – The world places value on one's potential for success to gain wealth, fame, or great skills.
- A "post-modern" man – Someone not adhering to "old fashioned" standards. Instead he projects progressive attitudes to social concerns.
A true ideal man:
- Honest (Proverbs 21:28) – Honesty is important in all relationships and interactions. The true ideal man is someone who loves truth and rejects falsehood.
- Kind (Proverbs 19:22) – Kindness means to do good for others. This kindness is given to all, regardless of whether the kindness is returned or rejected. It is the opposite of self-centeredness and selfishness. Kindness is part of the love we are to show towards others. This love looks for the best for others.
- Pious – Pious means devoted. In particular, it usually means devoted to God. A pious man is devoted to things that lead one to heaven. He also seeks to lead his family to heaven.
- Devoted to family – An ideal man recognizes the importance of his wife and family. He focuses on helping meet their physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional needs.
In God's plan, men are spiritual leaders in the church and family. Therefore, it is critical that we develop godly traits in ourselves and to help others develop them as well. The ultimate success of self, society, and family is based on how well we follow God's plan in all things. In doing so, we give glory to Him.