In Love for Life
Building or Rebuilding a Great Marriage
Holy Sex
Part 2
Teaching Strategy
The focus of this lesson is on a case study of a couple dealing with sexual issues. Of special note is how to apply the principles from Part 1 to the situation here. All of this is within the scope of God's plan for a healthy, loving, and lasting relationship between a husband and wife and His model for the family.
Student Learning Outcomes
- Know: Understand God’s plan for marriage.
- Feel: Commit to following God’s plan for marriage.
- Do: Apply the concepts for building a lasting and loving marriage relationship.
Body of the Lesson
Discussion Questions
Below are suggested questions to use during the guided discussion portion of the lesson. There are also suggested responses to questions to help students grasp the various concepts. These are provided to assist the discussion and are not considered as “right or wrong” responses.
- Sex was created by God before sin entered the world (Genesis 2:24-25).
- Sex was designed by God with a spiritual component that man-made actions do not have.
- Sex is set apart for a special purpose.
Views on this will vary depending on perception. Teachers must be familiar with the case and form their own perception of the situation. However, teachers should refrain from putting forth their perception as the only option.
Both Kevin and Brenda are reluctant to share their feelings. Brenda feels Kevin equates affection or intimate moments with sexual activity. She is turned away by his continued assertiveness.
She feels that sex was for unification or oneness. She and Kevin do not connect sexually because their focus and what they gain individually from the sexual act is different.
Review the key principles of communication (see chapter 2, "The Currency of Love).
Both Brenda and Kevin must communicate to each other their perceptions, needs, and desires for their relationship. They must be totally honest, recognize the different hierarchy of needs for men and women, and they must be clear, and complete in their feedback.
In this case study, they are seeking a third party to help them navigate their situation. This is an appropriate effort if the third party is qualified to help them understand and deal with intimate issues in marriage.
God created sex in the context of the marriage relationship to achieve oneness. To use human sexuality in other ways or contexts goes against God's plan and thus, is sin. Furthermore, without the marriage context, practicing human sexuality often destroys oneness and can be physically and spiritually harmful.
Generally, the first time for anything is noteworthy. This is especially true with the first climax of the sexual act. It is natural, that if that is the goal of the sexual action, then it will naturally diminish. However, if one combines both the spiritual and physical aspects of the sexual experience, it will grow in satisfaction rather than diminish. This is true with anything we view from the perspective of our relationship with God.
We owe to our spouse the fulfillment of their needs in the area of human sexuality. This is a two-way relationship. We are, in essence, owned by our spouse in every way. If we see the relationship in this way, we then become indebted to the other.
This is not a selfish view. It is the antithesis of selfishness when we view our role as meeting the needs of the other.
Always keep in mind that God created us and gifted us in ways we may not realize. One gift is the achievement of pleasure through a sexual relationship with our spouse. This is a giving relationship in the same way that our relationship with God is a giving relationship. God gives us love, grace, forgiveness, and life. We give faithfulness and love in return. The marriage relationship mirrors our relationship with God in many ways. When this happens, we grow spiritually and in sexual intimacy.