In Love for Life
Building or Rebuilding a Great Marriage
The Love Connection
Teaching Strategy
The focus of this lesson is an overview of the idea of love. Of special note is how this has influenced our concept of marriage. A thread that runs through this lesson is God's plan for marriage as a stable, loving, happy, and permanent relationship between one man and one woman.
Student Learning Outcomes
- Know: Understand God’s plan for marriage.
- Feel: Commit to following God’s plan for marriage.
- Do: Apply the concepts for building a lasting and loving marriage relationship.
Body of the Lesson
Discussion Questions
Below are suggested questions to use during the guided discussion portion of the lesson. There are also suggested responses to questions to help students grasp the various concepts. These are provided to assist the discussion and are not considered as “right or wrong” responses.
Originally, when God created Adam and Eve, there was no sin and no death as consequence of sin.
In that relationship there was the imbedded commitment to each other as mates. This commitment was to last for eternity as was their lives. Once sin entered the world there was injected into this perfect world and life the consequence of death. However, God did not remove the characteristics from Adam and Eve that made them in God's image. He perhaps even strengthened them though their co-dependency, compatibility, and responsibility to each other (Genesis 24-25).
There are many scriptures addressing the marriage relationship, but perhaps the best example of commitment and responsibility to each other within the marriage relationship is found in Ephesians 5:22-33. In this passage we see the husband and wife share roles and commitments to each other and their family. In binding ourselves to one another in marriage and committing ourselves to faithfulness to God, we fulfill His will for each partner in marriage.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (ESV)
Although in the context of this verse Paul is talking about idolatry, the principle behind it can apply to our marriage relationship as well. Sexual sin is a major temptation used by Satan since the early days of our existence. It is listed in various scriptures as sinful. God's plan for one man, one woman in a permanent, committed, and loving relationship is a significant way to avoid sexual sin. The husband and wife are focused on meeting each other's physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual needs.
Compatibility and romance are important in a relationship. Compatibility does not mean we are ideally suited or in full agreement with each other. It does mean, however, that there is a level of suitability. Romance helps keep love and attraction alive. However, romance is an ideal that few attain or sustain.
Love is lasting when it is based on God's view of caring for and committing to ensuring that our spouse's needs are met. We, as Christians, know this as the "agape" form of love. It is the same love that God shows for us and demands of us. It is sacrificial in nature, best seen in Jesus' sacrifice for sinners. This type of love seeks the wellbeing of another, even to one's own hurt or disadvantage.
Many seek Mr. or Ms. Right based on an ideal seen in modern culture. The realty, however, is that there is no perfect Mr. or Ms. Right because we all have faults, weaknesses and sinful natures.
Romance looks for the spark to ignite the relationship and may cause one to overlook the lasting characteristics such as spiritual strength, emotional stability, and commitment. Many of the sparks quickly burn out in much the same way as seed sown in shallow soil (It is recognized that the Parable of the Sower – Matthew 13:1-9 is not focused on the marriage relationship. However, the illustration can be seen in a lasting marriage relationship.)
Someone fully enamored with another may overlook glaring faults and character flaws and may reject counseling and advice. Instead, they give in to their strong emotions over reality.
As stated above, Romance looks for the ideal and overlooks what is sustained. Romance demands an unsustainable level of novelty and excitement.
1. A commitment to consider another's welfare equal to one's own – This concept of commitment is at the core of the strongest form of human love – agape love. We promise to be faithful in all ways to each other and do whatever is necessary to fulfill that promise.
2. Self-discipline – Self-discipline enables us to sustain our commitment. Self-discipline helps us overcome our selfishness. Self-discipline is also known as self-control and is essential for our spiritual growth (Galatians 5:22-24). This is relevant to our relationship as we encourage and support each other in our life together and our faithfulness to God.
(Note: The underlined words are the one to provide to complete the statement.)
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. (ESV)
The love Christ has for the church is seen in His willingness to give His life for it. In a similar way, we consider our spouse's welfare equal to or above our own. Christ emptied Himself for His church. We empty (give) ourselves completely to our spouse. We have specific roles in marriage, however, the primary function of each role is to serve each other in love.