Marriage Prep 101

• Agape love – Seen in commitment to the wellbeing of our partner.
• Attraction – Maintaining the attraction towards one another that keeps the joy and excitement in the relationship alive.
• Appreciation – The effort to understand what our spouse experiences as our wife or husband.
• Aid – Mutual assistance in challenging times including the wisdom to seek appropriate help in troubling times.

The term Christian means to be like Christ or of Christ. As it applies to an individual, it means the person has put on Christ through our belief and confession of our need for forgiveness through Jesus, repentance (turning our lives from self towards Jesus, baptism by immersion in water, and living faithfully to the teaching of Jesus. What makes a thing Christian is that it is based on the principles and teachings of Jesus. For example, we use the expression, "Christian school". We mean by that, that the identity and practices of the educational institution are based on the teachings of Jesus.

What makes a marriage Christian is also seen in it being Christ based. We see this in our:

• Knowledge of self – We ask ourselves if we are sincere in our Christianity. This must be answered first or we will never know what we are to be or do. It affects every other decision in our life.
• Knowledge of our partner – Knowledge of our partner's sincerity as a Christian is also important. It helps ensure the success of our life and marriage when we are both committed to serving our Lord. Further, we each help and support one another's spiritual growth.
• Unity – This is working together devoting our marriage and it processes to Christ.

Although it is a common practice to be married in a church or some other such religious facility, and officiated by a person representing the religious institution, it is when the man and woman enter the marriage consciously and legally that God recognizes the marriage.

Adam expressed knowledge of self. He recognized he was alone and incomplete.

This relates to God's plan for marriage by creating a mate/companion that removed Adam's loneliness and provided completeness.

Note: The completeness was provided to both Adam and Eve in their relationship with each other. In the same way today, we complete each other by providing for what is missing in each other's life and growing into the union as God designed.

Social readiness means we understand what we want and where we want to go in life. This is a conscious awareness and conviction about things and our ability to function in society independently. The greater our readiness, the greater the likelihood of marital success.

This is seen in our recognition of our need for marriage. This is not what others want for us, but what we want for ourselves. This involves a willing and permanent commitment to another person.

God created the family based on one man and one woman. As they grow together, they develop knowledge of each other's needs and wants and the desire to fulfill them. We learn of each other's physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs, and work to help satisfy them.

Regarding the physical or sexual knowledge gifted to the marriage by God, we are able to confirm our commitment, express loyalty, surrender self, establish a family, provide emotional comfort, and physical pleasure. These are gained through our knowledge of our spouse as we grow together through the life of our marriage. These are lacking when a sexual relationship exists outside of marriage and therefore does not provide completeness.

Rule 1 – Separate to unite – We leave parents and unite wholly with our spouse. He/she becomes the priority in our life second only to our relationship with God.

Rule 2 – Permanence in permanent – Becoming one is spirit and flesh means there is no room for another. We are committed forever to each other as long as we live. We blend our lives together throughout the stages of life.

Rule 3 – Intimacy must be without fear - The final verse of Genesis 2:24-25 states that they were naked and unashamed. The use of naked goes beyond the physical to include opening up before each other all of our selves. We do this with trust and acceptance from, and commitment to each other. This is done without reservation and with full transparency. (Note: A good spiritual expression of this is seen when we come to God as we express in the hymn, "Just As I Am".)

In several scriptures the relationship we have with God and the Church itself is seen through the explanation of a marriage (bride of Christ, etc.). We know that in a marriage one enters into a new relationship with each other separate from others while still maintaining our family relationship. In a similar way, when we are untied with Christ through our faithful response and baptism, we are added to the church (bride of Christ). We are dedicated fully to Him while still maintaining our life in this world. But our focus shifts from the world to our new life in Christ.