The Single Priority

That is, NEA, National Educators Association, have encouraged all teachers in America to make October, Gay and Lesbian History Month and to make sure that they promote in their classrooms, in their classrooms, the history of gay and lesbian activity and advancement in this country during the month of October. I mean, do you believe me now? I mean, are we going nuts or what? So your parents, your teachers, you belong to PTOs, you're involved in school, your grandparents, everybody has a voice. And if we don't stand up and say, this is wrong, and I don't want this, and I don't want this in my class, then it'll just keep going right on and on and on.

The only reason it's gotten this far is that nobody stands up and says, no more. We stop. Alright? So that's not what the sermon is about tonight. But just just in case you didn't believe me, just in case, you know, they didn't have enough information.

Alright. Now on another topic, if you can switch out. I didn't wanna count on it, I was totally freezing on that, but I thought that was too much of an important piece of information to just ignore. Now on Sunday nights, we're on to another topic, something hopefully a little closer to home, those things that we deal with a little more in our own families, and we've been going through the book of 1st Corinthians and I've been preaching my way through the book of 1st Corinthians. And tonight I'd like to double back, you know, we kinda go from chapter to chapter, and tonight I'd like to double back to chapter 7 and pick up an idea that pertains to a specific group in society and, of course, in our church, and that is those people who are single.

Surveys predict that in the next 10 years, single and single again people will form the fastest growing group within our society. Okay? Single people who've never married and single again or unmarried, however you want to refer to people who are in that situation, are forming the largest portion of our society. And that's, you know, we think that that's a new thing or a new problem or well, I shouldn't say a problem, but a phenomenon. We think that's a new phenomenon.

And and it's not that necessarily a new phenomenon. Paul addresses people who are single in the book of Corinthians, and that's why I wanna double back here and pick up an idea in chapter 7 and talk about single solutions is what I call the sermon, single solution. You know, it seems to me that the life of the single or the unmarried, however you wish to refer to that, single adult is plagued by 3 common problems. Number 1, waiting. Just waiting.

Waiting for a new situation to develop, whether it be a new job, or education, or or a new relationship. You know, when it comes to relationships, it's always waiting. The painful waiting to see if this relationship is the right relationship. Those of you who are single, those of you who know people who are single, your family and friends, you know that the waiting game is one of the common problems of single people. Another common problem of single people is worry.

You worry about direction. You worry about making the right decisions, and yet have to make right decisions with so little information. The trouble is young people, young people, usually single people, have to make so many important decisions about education, about relationships, about direction in life, and yet have so little information upon which to base that decision. And that causes worry. It seems that for single people everything is always up in the air, and that's stressful.

And then a third common problem of lone of, single people is loneliness. You see, as as Christians, single people bear a great burden, in a sense, because single Christian adults cannot experience the satisfying sexual relationships that married people have without feeling guilt and disappointment. You know, out in the world, you know, in the world of friends, NBC Thursday night, In the world of friends, you know, hey, all you gotta do is find a kind of a compatible partner sex, I mean, that's not a problem. Watch Seinfeld, you know, one of the most popular comedies on TV. He's a single guy.

Their biggest problem about sex is, well, if we have sex, will we ruin our friendship? Not even a moral issue. There's no guilt involved. There's no nothing like that. It's just, should we have sex or not?

And if we do, it might ruin our our friendship. But for Christian people, loneliness, and the inability to express human sexuality without feeling guilt is very difficult. You see, it's hard to develop a deep emotional bond and to receive comfort from a loving partner without experiencing a sexual relationship. In a world of couples, the single person seems to be perpetually on the outside looking in. And those of us who are married, we forget about that sometimes.

The problem facing the single is that eventually much of his or her emotional energy becomes focused on simply waiting, and worrying, and feeling lonely. The result of this is that in many people's lives, many single people's lives, they become impatient. It's the problem. They become impatient and they begin making foolish commitments to people and things which are wrong for them. I've seen that happen over and over again.

People just tired of waiting. They say, well, yeah, you'll do. I'm just tired of waiting. You, come over here. I'll make it work because I'm tired of waiting.

I'll just make this thing work. Make foolish decisions. Or I'll just throw all this away and start over here. Go over here. Maybe something will happen if I move over here.

Or they pay too much attention to their own problems and needs, which only intensifies the feeling of depression. You know, the look starts to go from outward to inward. Because if when you're alone, especially if you live alone, it's very easy to think about just your own stuff. And then eventually, they go from being alone to feeling lonely. And there's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely.

This cycle of worry and loneliness and depression many times can make the single life more difficult than it needs to be. And so in chapter 7 of 1st Corinthians, Paul the Apostle talks to singles, and he gives them some solutions to the problems faced, especially by those who are unmarried. Open your Bibles to 1st Corinthians, chapter 7, and we'll look at some of the single solutions that Paul talks about. Beginning in verse 25. First of all, he says to single people, recognize your state for what it is.

Recognize your state for what it is. Verse 25, he says, Now concerning virgins, now you have to understand in the Bible, when the author is talking about virgins, he is talking about virgins. People who have never had sex, and assuming that people who've never had sex are people who've never married. Of course. In the bible, you have virgins.

Those are people who've never been married, and then you have the unmarried. Those are people who have been married at some time, but at this point in time are no longer married. Either because of their partner died, you know, they're widows, or they're divorced. However, the reason at a particular moment in time they are unmarried. So in the Bible when he says virgins, he's talking to bachelors, single people.

When he's talking to unmarried, he's talking to people who are at this point in time not married. Okay? But may have been in the past. In verse 26, he says, I think then, excuse me, in verse 25, it says, Now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. Now Jesus never talked about this thing of singleness directly.

And so Paul, as an inspired apostle, teaches on the subject. We've talked about this before. Jesus didn't talk about every issue in the gospels. But the apostles, many times, talked about things that Jesus did not cover. Such as, you know, how to choose elders and things.

You know, Jesus never talked about that. That's what the apostles were there for. He gave them the information that they passed on to us. In verse 26 he says, I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Now the Jews considered it a disgrace to be single.

You know that? If you're a Jew, it's a disgrace to be single. Terrible. But Paul, in this verse, says that being single is not a disgrace, it's not something to be despised. Jesus was single.

Paul was an unmarried person. He says that being single is different from being married, but it's not inferior in God's sight. In that day, it was easier, he says, because Christians were being persecuted. He says, you know, in lieu of the things that are going on, Christians were being persecuted. If you were married, you had a lot to lose.

And so being single was probably a better option for you when this particular book was written. In verse 27, he says, Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife.

But if you should marry, you have not sinned. And if a virgin should marry, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. He reminds them that even with persecution, they shouldn't try to change their state in life. But if they do marry, they're not sinning.

They just need to be aware of the risks involved. And the risks are not inherent in the marriage relationship. He's saying, hey, if you get married, you have to realize that you, in the 1st century, you could open yourself up to being imprisoned and leaving your wife and children alone and abandoned, or you could be persecuted, you could lose your home. So you need to think about that. You're not making a sin if you get married, but you need to understand the risks involved during this present period of persecution.

Whether married or single, he says that God blesses both of these states. This should help us when anxious or waiting. We need to be assured that being single is okay. It's okay. God can bless us and provide us with joy, whether we're married or we're single.

Singles may be impatient, but God is not impatient with a person because they're single. Maybe you're you're impatient because you're single, but God is not impatient with you because you are single. You know, maybe your mother's telling you, wow, you know, how about that nice boy? You know, we had a visitor today in church, you know, did you go talk to him? You know, maybe your mother's impatient.

Mothers get impatient. But God is not in a rush for you to get married. Being married is not better, and it's not easier. You know, I've heard a lot of single people, oh man, when I get married, all those problems will go away. You know, no.

No. You know, being married is not better or easier. It's different. It's different. Second thing he says in verses 29 to 31 is this, Recognize the world for what it is, you know, recognize your state for what it is, and recognize your world for what it is.

Verse 29, I read it says, But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none. And those who weep as though they did not weep. And those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice. And those who buy as though they did not possess. And those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it.

For the form of this world is passing away. Paul says to them, recognize the world for what it is. And he says that the world is passing away. That term in verse 31 where he says, The form of this world. That's a Greek term.

And it's actually a theatrical term that was used to describe the situation when one act is over. You ever go to the theater and you're watching the play, and the act is over, and the lights go down, and you see people run on stage, and they're moving furniture around, and you can kind of see them. And then all of a sudden the lights come up and all the furniture has been shifted around. The actors, same actors, have changed costumes, they're ready for act 2 or part 2 or whatever it is. Well that Greek word there, the form is passing away, was a theatrical term that referred to that activity in the theater.

And he's saying, you know, the world is a stage. We think Shakespeare coined that. The world is a stage, he says, and that stage is being shifted. It's going away, something else is being brought onto the stage of reality. Okay?

The apostle is saying that whether happy or sad, whether you're married or unmarried, you need to remember that this world is only temp if you're married, you're only temporarily married in this world. And if you're single, you're only temporarily single. And we as Christians are only passing through because singleness and marriage are only for this world. God did not create marriage for heaven. You You know they say marriage is made in heaven?

That's not a bible that's not a bible thing. God made marriage for the earth, he didn't make marriage for heaven. We have a different kind of relationship in heaven with each other. He made marriage for the earth because on the earth we die, we reproduce. We have to reproduce because we die.

In heaven, we don't die, therefore we don't need to reproduce. Therefore, we don't need marriage. We have a different kind of relationship. Actually, the kind of relationship we're cultivating in the kingdom is the kind of relationship that will exist in heaven. When we realize this idea, this should produce 2 things.

First of all, it should lower our concern and emotional investment in situations and things which are only temporary. He says, hey, if you use the world only use it with the thought that it is passing away. In order to get a proper perspective on things ask yourself this question, how important is this thing going to be in a 100 years? You know that truck that goes by and you know, we just got a different we trade in our van, you know, I'll give you an example. We trade in our van, the air transmission was starting to go and we got ourselves a car and you know it's kinda shiny.

It's not new but it's almost new. It's one of those program things and went to Dallas this weekend, the marriage seminar. And on our way back we're driving and this truck went by and you hear, tick. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about.

You know, man, there's a storm in my window and I'm looking all over the window. Where's where's the thankfully there was, you know, I guess it just flew off. It didn't make a hole. You know how important is that that thing gonna be in a 100 years? How about that man there, I forget that man up north somewhere, hear about that?

The woman crashed into his car on the bridge, he got out and started to beat her up and beat her up, she was so afraid she jumped off the bridge and died. Here's this guy driving, going somewhere to a friend's house, somebody crashes into his car. He was so incensed that he caused the death of this poor woman. He beat her and then literally scared her off the bridge. And now he's gonna spend the rest of his life in jail if not be executed?

Probably not. But certainly spend the rest of his life in jail for that one moment. For what? Because somebody crashed into his whatever? And how important is that gonna be in a in a 100 years from now?

Not at all. Not at all. And also, the recognition of the temporariness of the world helps us to focus on the world which is to come. A world that is represented in the here and now by the word of God, and the church of Christ, and the Holy Spirit. This is where our emotional and intellectual energy needs to be invested.

We need to invest our emotional and intellectual energy not into this world, but in the world that is to come. But because it's investment in the world that's to come that will pay dividends. Everything we invest into this world is just going to turn away and rot into dust. Final thing he says is this, he says, recognize the differences between the priorities of the single life and the priorities of the married life. Verse 32 to 35.

He says, but I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. And his interests are divided. And the woman who is unmarried and the virgin, notice, see the difference there?

And the woman who is unmarried, there's the person who was married but is now unmarried, and the virgin, the single person who has never been unmarried. Okay? He says, these people, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy in both body and spirit. But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own benefit, not to put a restraint.

He's not saying, hey you people can't get married. You single people and you unmarried people. I'm not saying you can't get married or married again. It's not what I'm saying, he says. I want to promote what is seemly and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

See, as Christians, we have to live in the world. Okay? We have to live in the world, but we have to live for the Lord. You see the difference? We have to live in the world, but we must live for the Lord, whether we're single or married.

The single person, however, has more time and resources to devote to this first priority. That's what he's saying here. The married person's first commitment is also to the Lord, but in marrying, that commitment is primarily carried out by serving one's family. See what I'm saying? A married person's first commitments to the Lord.

Single person's first commitments to the Lord. When a person marries, that person's commitment to the Lord is acted out, if you wish, towards service in the family. And that's one of the biggest problems that young people face when they get married. So many young people get married, but they they still think single. You know?

A lot of these young guys, you know, they want a wife, but they don't really want a wife. They just want mommy. They want a wife to do everything mommy used to do with the added fun of having sex. And they wanna keep doing what they used to do when they were single. They don't understand that when you get married, your priority is always to the Lord, but now you're going to work out your priority to the Lord through service to your family.

They need to understand that before they get married. Certainly one of the things I tell them when I visit with them before they marry. I want you to also understand another thing about this passage. Paul is not degrading marriage. He is not degrading this service that one renders to the partner in marriage.

He's not saying, oh, you people get married, you know, you gotta give, you know, you're worried just about your wives. He's not saying that. It's not the tone. He is merely reminding these people that this is the choice we make when we marry. If you choose to marry, that's okay.

But remember that when you choose to marry, that your priority will be to your family. That's the choice you make when you marry. Now, the single person's advantage is this. The single person's advantage is that he or she does not carry this burden of responsibility. And so, this person is free to offer to the Lord a wider range of time and talent and service.

Priority is the same, the Lord is the priority. The difference is the single person has a much wider opportunity for travel in the name of the Lord, service in the name of the Lord, giving in the name of the Lord, and so on and so forth. If I was a single man, if I did not have a wife and 4 children, I would be free to go to Haiti, for example, and preach the gospel and establish churches because I would only have myself to look after. But time and conditions, prevent me from taking my wife and all my children to Haiti. I couldn't find enough money to get us all over there to do that work.

In the church, I want to say a little parenthetical thing and I, and don't get me wrong here. You know, whenever you talk about a very specific thing, you know, specific people get, you know, as you're talking about me, I really am making a general thing here in the churches that I have served. I do have to say that I have seen a general theme, however. In the church, the reverse is what happens, however. In the church, many times, it is the married people who carry the bulk of responsibility and service in the church.

It's the married people who do the majority of the teaching, the majority of the giving, the majority of the visiting, the majority of the service, and many times to the neglect of their own families. As a minister, I've seen that happen over and over again in many churches. Singles, unfortunately, sometimes think that their freedom belongs to them. They forget that their freedom belongs to the Lord and not to themselves. And they forget that to their own destruction.

When singles begin to make the Lord their first priority, not only does it benefit the church, but it also breaks that vicious cycle of loneliness and depression caused by too much of a focus on self. Single life doesn't have to be a burden. Doesn't have to be a burden. It shouldn't be. It wasn't designed to be.

If we recognize that being single is blessed by God, we can begin living for now and not use the single life as just the waiting room for the unmarried. If we recognize the difference between what is temporary and eternal, we'll stop worrying about what is passing away and pay a lot more attention to what's really valuable. The word is valuable. The church is valuable. Souls are valuable.

So many people as they get older say, oh, boy. If I had, you know, if I had all that freedom, you know, over again, oh, there's so much I could have done. So much good I could have done. You gotta have that idea while you're young, while you're single. Now is the time to do it because you know what?

There's no guarantee that you will get married, and there's no guarantee that there will be a tomorrow, and there's no guarantee that you will age. All of us, all we have is now. Whatever good you want to do, whatever dream you have, whatever thing you want to do, whatever you want to give to the Lord, I encourage you to lay it on the altar now. You have no guarantee that you'll be able to offer that tomorrow. And if we recognize that our first priority, whether we're single or married, if we realize that our first priority is pure and sincere service to the Lord, then two things will happen to us.

First of all, the Lord will draw near to us, and secondly, we will be drawn into other people's lives through Christ. And this will be the death blow to our loneliness and to our depression. Are you a single person? Are you a single person? Then I encourage you to make the most of your life for what it is now and serve God with enthusiasm knowing that he knows about your state and he blesses it.

And when I say single, you know, if you're 15 years old, you're single. 18, you're single. If you're 30, you're single. You know, singleness is a state that many people at different ages are at. Make sure that you make something out of your life for Jesus now.

And don't worry, God is the one who cares for you whether you are single or married. And you can be assured that God will provide for you everything that you need. Everything. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially. God knows what you need and he will provide.

And finally, remember that marriage is neither a solution nor a promotion, but rather an opportunity to give yourself to 1 person instead of sharing yourself with many people. That's the secret. That's the secret of a happy single life, to share yourself with many. And a happy married life, to share yourself exclusively with 1. But the key operative word is sharing yourself, giving yourself.

The big difference is you give yourself to a lot of people or you give yourself to 1. But as long as you're giving yourself, you will understand the joy and the peace that comes with serving Christ. Whatever your state, whatever state you're in, I pray, however, that God does bless you. Now tonight, if you've fallen into a negative condition, or depressive condition, or a sinful cycle, for whatever reason, and need to be restored, need the prayers of the church, we encourage you at this time to come for healing and for forgiveness as we stand and as we sing our song of invitation.