If Your Brother Sins Against You

Last week, for those of you who are here, I think majority of you were here last week, we talked about the, the problem of putting up with nasty Christians who offended us and hurt our feelings, and that happens a lot. I thought that this week I might follow-up with the lesson that helps us to do more than just put up with people who offend us, but, do a lesson that dealt with what we actually should do when we're offended, when someone sins against us. Because sometimes people do things that just bug us. You know, they just they just bugs us. It just annoys us.

We have to kind of put up with that. Unfortunately, there are times when someone actually sins, someone actually offends us, does something which is sinful and that is directed against us. The Bible teaches us what we ought to do. I believe that the majority of church divisions and personal animosities between brethren are not only caused by the original offense, but also by the brethren's lack of desire or ability to resolve differences. A lot of times something happens and you just let it go.

You just leave it there and it festers and it gets bad and it gets rotten and, oh, boy. And then it comes up again and it flares up years later. Brethren are not talking to each other for, you know, one guy sits here, one guy sits over there, they're in the same church taking communion, one body, one faith, won't talk to each other for years because they won't resolve differences between them. In this passage, Jesus lays out for us a practical method of solving disputes. Jesus never taught that there weren't gonna be any disputes in the body.

On the contrary, he warned us, told us there would be disputes. And when there were, there was way there are ways to resolve these disputes. In addition to this passage, he also gives us 3 principles that support the method. So he gives us a practical method and then gives us 3 and then gives us 3 principles that support that method. So first, we begin with the method of reconciliation and confrontation read, in verses, 15, through 17.

Now there are a lot of systems of dispute resolution that exist, bargaining methods that exist. The one offered here by Jesus is a combination of confrontation and appeal. That's his system. Confrontation and appeal. The first three verses deal with the actual method that Christians need to use when there is a problem of personal offense or when that problem of personal offense or public sinfulness takes place.

Here's the breakdown. First of all, there is confrontation and that is in verse 15 that we, just read. It says, and if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private. Now some passages, some Bible say, sins against you. Whether he sins publicly or sins against you, there is a sin here.

You're involved because you're part of this fellowship. So if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private. And if he listens to you, you have won your brother. First step, confront and appeal privately. You know, more people fail because they skip this step.

They don't go this step. We don't like confrontation. We don't like going to people and telling them you did something wrong, or you're doing something wrong, or what you've done is wrong, or you've done something wrong against me. Now usually what happens is when we see somebody's sin or when we are offended, we begin by telling somebody else about it. It's called gossip.

I think the last I heard, it's called gossip. Or we begin telling the elders. We go to the elders or the preacher and say, you ought to go solve this problem over here. This brother over here is doing something wrong. Your job, you ought to go over there and solve this problem.

Or this so and so, sister so and so did this to me. I want you to go over there and tell her what she's just done wrong. I think that's called cowardice. See, one is gossip, the other one is chicken. See that those are the 2 methods that we use to resolve problems.

And when we use those methods, it creates more problems and more division in the church. Jesus says that we should first, we should confront and appeal to that person in private. And that's a good system because doing this sometimes eliminates confusion and miscommunication or misconceptions. A lot of times, maybe there wasn't a sin, maybe there wasn't a problem, maybe there was no, reason to be offensive. It was just, hey, I didn't understand.

I'm sorry, boy. I never thought you would think this and so on and so forth, you know. And you talk it through and you resolve the issue, just you and that other person. Also, by following this first step, it is easier for the individual to be restored because it can be done in private. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I offended you. I'm I'm sorry this happened, or I need to take care of this. Thank you for warning me. It's a lot easier to do it that way than to be revealed in public. Then the heart begins to be hardened and the pride starts to lift up and and resistance sets in.

And it also provides an opportunity for growth in a personal relationship. You ever notice you are good friends with people you have been able to overcome disputes with? If you have an argument with your friend and you're able to resolve it, you ever find out that that person becomes even a better friend for you? Because both of you are reassured that when stuff comes up, you can deal with it. You can be friends despite your disagreements.

And finally, it avoids idle gossip and the worsening of the situation. Well, then the second verse, Jesus tells us if a private confrontation fails, then we need to confirm the facts with several other people. Verse 16, but if he does not listen to you, take 1 or 2 more with you so that by the mouth of 2 or 3 witnesses every fact may be confirmed. Now maybe the person is not convinced. That's the problem here.

Maybe the person is not convinced that there's a sin involved, that there's something really wrong, that the problem is a legitimate one. Maybe the person is not totally convinced that it is a problem and not just some sort of personal vendetta going on here. The purpose of bringing others into the situation is not to condemn the per you notice he doesn't say, bring some people along so together you can condemn this person. That's not what Jesus is saying. Jesus is saying, you need to bring these people along in order to convince the individual that there is a real problem here, and that the problem is clearly visible to other people, and not just by one person.

It's not just one person's idea, other people see this also. And so the second step in this process is to convince the person that there is a problem, not to condemn them. And then the third step is in verse 17 a. He says, and if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. That's the 3rd step.

Make it public. Make it public. If there is no response from a few, if the few have not been able to convince this person that this is a legitimate problem, it's not some sort of personal vendetta, that it is a sin, it is something that needs to be resolved and it can't get through to them, make it public. You ever wonder why it make it public? So that the church can pray for this individual.

So that an army of Christians can go to the father in prayer for this individual. So that the offense is condemned and the name of the church is not hurt. A lot of times we suffer. The church suffers because of the action of 1 person. It needs to be public so that the church can now try in various ways to convince this person of the error of his or her way.

That the full force, the full pressure, the full, implication of the public weight of the church can go on to this person to turn them around. Maybe you chose the wrong people to go see this person. Maybe someone else in the church has dealt with this problem before and can come forward and more effectively deal with this person. Make it public. A lot of people go, oh, no.

We're gonna be embarrassed. Oh, no. It's gonna be terrible. And yet, we don't follow what Jesus is saying. Maybe the answer is right there that the the person who's got the key is sitting right next to us in the pew.

But without making it public, we cannot resolve the issue. And then the 4th step, Jesus says, turn away from this person. Verse 17 b, if he refuses, if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a gentile and a tax gatherer. If the church fails to reach this person, then the church needs to mark and turn away from this person.

Romans chapter 16 verse 17. Turn away from this person. Jesus says, as a tax gatherer and a gentile you know, if you were a Jew listening to this, this would be the clearest indication of turning away from that person because tax gatherers and gentiles were not part of the people of God. Turn away from this person. Now someone says, well, how do we do that?

You know, Jesus doesn't kinda give us all the information here. Well, there is the information in other parts of the bible that tell us how to do that turning away from that person. First of all, we need to publicly acknowledge that they are not considered members in good standing. In 1st Corinthians, Paul dealt with a similar situation where there was sin in the church and a brother refused to respond to the, to the discipline of the church. In 1st Corinthians chapter 5 verse 2, he says, and you have become arrogant and have not mourned, mourned over the sinfulness of this person, he says, instead excuse me, mourn instead in order that the one who had done this deed might be removed from your midst.

Remove that person from your midst, he says. Another form of turning away is to disassociate from this person in a social way. It goes on. 1st Corinthians chapter 5, now verse 11. He says, but actually I wrote you to you not to associate with any so called brother if he should be an immoral person or covetous or an idolater, reviler, a drunkard, or a swindler, not even to eat with such a one.

He mentions eating because eating is the most common form of socialization. Don't socialize with this particular person. And then in first Corinthians chapter 5 verse 13, he says, but those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves. Do not permit this person to participate in worship.

No communion. Don't serve them communion. Remove them from your midst. That's pretty hard stuff. But it's biblical.

It's not our position, quote, as the church of Christ. No. It's Jesus' teaching and Paul's teaching and the dealing with people who are sinning, people who are causing offense. When and only when all else fails, the church through the leadership of the elders needs to exercise discipline. Now Jesus doesn't give us a time frame.

He doesn't say all this has to be done in 24 hours or 2 weeks. Each situation calls for a certain judgment, for wisdom, for understanding, for patience. But we need to understand that we need to move through these particular steps as part of the process of healing and bringing back those who sin and who offend. There are more problems in the church because there's too little real discipline. And so this is the mechanics of the system.

He gives the mechanics here of the system. Go in private. Bring some with you to confirm that this is a real problem. Tell it to the church. Make it public so that everyone can reach out to this individual to bring them back.

And then finally, if nothing works, turn away from them. Cut them off. Make sure that they understand that they are not tired of the body. Now in the following passages, Jesus gives three principles to remember when doing this type of of work. We need to remember the hope is that when properly and lovingly done, this approach either succeeds in restoring peace and order in that person's life or in the lives of the 2 people or it manages to remove the person who is threatening the very life of the church.

Either way, when it's done properly, it works for good. Now that the method has been described, Jesus supports this method, as I said, with 3 principles that explains the method, that supports the thinking behind the method. Principle number 1 is found in verses 18 to 20 and it's this, What we do according to God's will on earth is observed and approved of by God in heaven. What we do according to God's will here on earth is observed and approved of in heaven. Verse 18, he says, truly I say to you, whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Again, I say to you that if 2 of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by my father who is in heaven. For where 2 or 3 have gathered together in my name, there I am in their midst. You know, these verses are sometimes confusing because we apply them to just about anything that we do here on earth, whether we're buying a new transmission for our car. You know what I'm saying? Should I buy this type or that type?

Well, let's let's think about it. Well, we're 2 Christians. We've decided on, you know, transmission a, this must be the will of the Lord. I think we, you know, we're stretching it just a little bit too much. In this passage, Jesus is speaking about the possible reconciliation of brethren or the possible disciplining of someone in the church.

The point is that if we follow Jesus' teaching in this matter of reconciliation or discipline, God will bless this decision. If we reconcile, God will forgive the offense as we have agreed. If the person says, I'm sorry. I hurt your feelings, and you say, that's okay. I forgive you, then God forgives you.

Whatever you lose, God loosens. If the person says, go away. Get out of here. Don't bother me. I don't care what you say.

I'm out of here. And the church says, we discipline you. God says, I also discipline you. God will uphold our decision to turn away and he will also consider this person out of the body of the saved. Do you understand what that means?

That means that this gives authority, real authority to the church and to its earthly leaders, but it is only confirmed in heaven if it is done according to the word. Jesus is in our midst as he says in this passage. Meaning what? Meaning we have authority. That's what that means.

I'm among you means you have authority. But we have only the authority if we proceed in every matter according to his word. In matters of dispute, resolution, as well as all other matters, whether it be salvation or worship or intercessory prayer, Jesus is with us if we follow the words. So principle number 1, if we do it according to God's word and we decide to lose, it's loosened in heaven. If we do it according to God's word and decide to punish and put away, then god also in heaven punishes and puts away.

2nd principle, there can be no reconciliation without a willingness to forgive. There can be no reconciliation unless the willingness to forgive is there. Verse 21 and 22. It says, then Peter came and said to him, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to 7 times?

Jesus said to him, I do not say to you up to 7 times, but up to 70 times 7. Peter here is testing the limits of patience, the quantity of mercy one is required to show another person before righteously rejecting him. You know, when you read this passage, it's all about the same thing. You know, don't chop this up into little sections and separate it. They're all talking about dispute resolution and reconciliation and somebody's sinning and so on and so forth.

It's all about that. And Peter here shows that he's generous by saying, well, should I forgive him at least 7 times? Because you see in those days, Jewish custom saw that an individual was obliged to offer forgiveness 3 times. Three times you were obliged to give forgiveness. If you were a good Jew and somebody offended you, you forgave 3 times.

On the 4th time, you're cut off. So people would kinda, you know, hand out those 3 times just to wait until the 4th time. Oh, I only got one left to go. Go ahead. Make my day.

You know, that was the attitude. That was the attitude. So Peter, you know, being a disciple of Jesus is trying to do better than this old system. You know, hey, never mind. 3, how about 7 times?

But Jesus puts the matter out of the boundaries of legalistic counting by introducing a new attitude about forgiveness. Not a specific number of times, but a specific attitude. Not a listing of offenses, but an erasing of offenses. Not a forgiveness based on a required number of chances, but a forgiveness based on a willingness to forgive as many times as necessary to maintain personal peace with God and create unity and peace with the brethren. A forgiveness based not on a request for forgiveness or a formal apology, but a forgiveness freely offered because God requires us to act this way.

In other words, he wants us to be anxious to forgive. He wants us to enter into these reconciliatory, bouts, these situations with anxiousness to forget. I want to forgive. That's what my objective is. Not, boy, just just do something wrong now.

One more time and I'm gonna hit you. Reconciliation can take place because the offended party is willing from the very beginning to forgive and does not have to be, begged or bought off in order to receive freedom. And then 3rd and final principle, forgiveness begets forgiveness. Verse 23 to 35. There is no reconciliation without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness for us if we do not offer forgiveness to other people.

And Jesus drives home this very important principle by telling the following parable in verse 23. He says, for this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a certain king who wished to settle account with his slave. And when he had begun to settle them, there was brought to him one who owed him 10,000 talents. But since he did not have the remains to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. And the slave, therefore, falling down, prostrated himself before him, saying, have patience with me, and I will repay you everything.

And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a 100 denarius. And he seized him and began to choke him saying, pay back what you owe. And so this fellow slave fell down and began to entreat him, saying, please have patience with me, and I will repay you. And he was unwilling, however, but went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.

And so when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. And then summoning him, his lord said to him, you wicked slave. I forgave you all that debt because you entreated me. Should you not also have mercy on your fellow slave even as I had mercy on you? And his lord moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed to him.

And so shall my heavenly father also do to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from his hall. I don't need to explain that parable. That parable is easily understood. And with this parable, Jesus closes his teaching on how and why we are to work through our problems with one another in the church. Brothers and sisters, it is impossible to go through life as a Christian without being offended.

I mean, if you've managed to go through your Christian life and not be offended by anybody, well, I wanna meet you at the church and find out how you did that. And it is impossible to be a Christian and not witness someone else grievously sinning against God or sinning against someone that we love. Jesus teaches us how to deal with these situations. Don't get mad. Don't quit the church.

Don't start to gossip. Don't start to complain. Instead, confront the person with love and patience. And if that doesn't work, bring others to help you appeal to this person. And then enlist the help of the church to turn the person around and if they don't, then don't be afraid to discipline them by turning away from them so that they may be ashamed and pressured to return to God.

It's okay to be pressured to return to God because the alternative is pretty bad. I'd rather embarrass you because you're a sinner and you won't repent to come back then watch you lose your soul eternally in hell. Now when we do this, remember, as God has taught us, Jesus has taught us that God will be with us in these difficult things if we follow his teaching in what we do, not if we do it our way. If we do it his way, he'll bless it. If we do it our way, he won't.

We need to remember also that we will succeed in reconciliation efforts only if we are truly willing to have a forgiving heart from the very beginning. Our motivation needs to be the willingness to forgive, not the desire to throw somebody out of the church. And finally, forgiveness of our sins is continually dependent on our forgiveness of others. Our ability to forgive is only possible because Jesus forgave our death through his cross. The forgiveness we offer others is merely an extension of the forgiveness that we ourselves receive from God.

When we cut others off, we end up cutting ourselves off as well. So we need to be very careful about that idea. I ask you this morning, who do you need to be reconciled to? Which side are you on? Are you one of the ones that needs to be reconciled with somebody else because you did something wrong?

You'd be reconciled to God because you've done something wrong? Or maybe are you the one that just has to screw up your courage and go to that person and confront them about what they're doing wrong? Do you need God's forgiveness? If you're not a Christian, the way you receive God's forgiveness is by confessing the name of his son and being baptized in the waters here behind me and starting a new life, forgiven and holy and fresh and new in Christ Jesus. If you are a Christian and you've been separated from God, then what you need to do is to come back to him through the prayers of the church.

Do you need a brother or sister's forgiveness? Do you need your husband's forgiveness? Your wife? A child perhaps? A friend?

One of the elders you may have offended that you need to go back and be restored and reconcile. I encourage you, do not let the sun go down without going or calling or writing or making the decision that you will do this thing today. Whatever point that you're at, I encourage you to be reconciled today as we stand and as we sing the song of invitation of invitation of invitation of invitation.