Marriage Prep 101
Getting Ready for the Big Day
8 Steps to Intimacy
Stratégie d'enseignement
The focus of this lesson continues to be a review of God’s plan for a successful and happy marriage. Of special note is a review of the true meaning, value and method of creating and maintaining intimacy in the marriage.
Résultats de l'apprentissage des étudiants
- Know: Understand the benefits of following God’s plan for marriage.
- Feel: Recognize the importance and benefits of following God’s plan for marriage.
- Do: Apply God’s plan to develop and sustain a loving and lasting marriage relationship.
Corps de la leçon
Questions à discuter
Vous trouverez ci-dessous des suggestions de questions à utiliser pendant la partie de la leçon consacrée à la discussion guidée. Vous trouverez également des suggestions de réponses aux questions pour aider les élèves à saisir les différents concepts. Ces réponses sont fournies pour faciliter la discussion et ne sont pas considérées comme des réponses "justes ou fausses".
Paul shows that all three areas are important for us to have a complete intimate relationship, with each other, as well as with God. They are often seen as different areas, but they work together to provide a complete person and relationship. As shown in this illustration, the foundation for this is our relationship with God. Everything is viewed from the prism of our relationship with God.
Intellectual/emotional intimacy: Marital intimacy requires that the heads and hearts be close.
This results from knowing the other person's needs, wants, thoughts and feelings. We develop this through open and honest communication.
Physical intimacy: Physical intimacy is not the same thing as sex. They are separate things but necessary to perfect the other. Men's and women's physical intimacy differs in its relationship with emotional intimacy. Their view of and desire for sex and intimacy differ.
Spiritual intimacy: God established marriage and provides the standards and principles for it. Without a shared spiritual intimacy, we do not have the complete marriage as God intends.
Our shared faith is critical as we share together our devotion to God as well as each other.
Strong physical attraction: God reveals that strong physical attraction is a basic ingredient in the intimate bonding of people together in marriage.
A purified character: Physical elements of an intimate relationship may lessen, but one's character usually remains constant. When our character reflects the characteristics of God, it helps our attractiveness for each other.
The respect of others: Although intimacy is seen as between the two in the marriage, how others see us helps heighten our appreciation for each other. When our view of our mate is confirmed by others, it gives us confidence to pursue deeper levels of intimacy.
Biblical balance: Struggle for power in the home is an intimacy killer. Spiritual leadership is not about control. As Paul states in Ephesians 5, it is actually a self-sacrificial love. We cannot be intimate with someone we're fighting with for control. God's plan is for mutual respect, devotion, and an intimacy pleasing and blessed by God.
Security in the relationship: Intimacy needs security to mature. This security should grow along with our intimacy with each other.
Give praise: Giving consistent praise is important to building and sustaining confidence in the other. (Teacher's note: Consider having each couple write on a piece of paper something they appreciate about the looks of their partner then have them exchange it with each other. This is likely to be a private statement so do not ask them to reveal it to the rest. But consider asking the couple to think about how it makes them feel towards their partner.)
Continual focus: It is not the big things that kill intimacy, it is the daily neglect of each other in little ways that destroys our closeness. We must care for our marriage partner in ways that reflect and support our lifetime commitment.
Spiritual oneness: Total intimacy requires spiritual intimacy. Although many have a good marriage without a shared faith, but when two are equally committed believers, we can share mind, body, and spirit as God intended. To create or recreate intimacy in marriage, begin with spiritual intimacy.