Candles of Love

Expressed during those special moments. The first idea to come forth. See, everybody was talking, everybody was saying something, each taking their turn, lighting a candle, sharing their thoughts in their heart, and then lighting someone else's candle and then they would share their thoughts and it would just keep going around the room. It took about an hour or so really to do it. And when you put it all together, some thoughts kind of rose to the surface, because some people kind of just echoed and repeated the same thing over and over again.

One of the things that came out was the idea of conjugal love. Conjugal love. One of the first things that impressed me about the evening was how many happy couples were represented in one place. How many happy marriages there were in that room. To hear it, you know, when you read the paper, watch the, you know, to hear it the entire world has gone to divorcing.

And every home is dysfunctional somehow, if you let the world tell you. But you couldn't tell it by looking around that room on that night. Time after time, as each one's turn came to speak, the first thing that they mentioned was the kind of special love that that person had for their spouse. If it was the man who was talking, he would say, Well, first, I want to say, I love my wife. And if it was the woman talking, more times than not, you'd say, Well, I'm so thankful for my husband.

The first thing they'd mention. And how despite the years or the differences that they had, how genuinely grateful they were to be married to that person and how much they loved them. You know, I believe that the 30 or 40 must have been 40 odd people in the house that night I believe that the 30 or 40 people that were there were merely a reflection of the wider picture that exists in this congregation. You know, like anything else, of course there are exceptions. Of course, there are some who have suffered the pain of divorce.

Of course there are some who are struggling with marriage problems. Of course there are in any group. But for the most part, I saw couples who were happy to be together and committed to each other, as in the majority of couples here in Choctaw. Been here long enough now to kind of get to know where we're at on this score. And I think the people there were simply a small picture that reflected the larger picture of the couples that are here in this church.

I think if we were lighting candles tonight, certainly one of them could be lit as a reminder of the love that shines in so many good and long lasting marriages that exist here in this congregation. You know, I believe that when we count our wealth, you know, at the end of the year, we count our wealth. Wow, I've got a house, I've got a car, I've got 2 cars, I've got 2 cars and a boat in the garage. And so when we count the stuff remember when I was talking about the stuff we have? When we add up the stuff that we own collectively, probably be in the 1,000,000 of dollars.

But I think when we make that addition, we should count the happy marriages in this congregation as our most valuable asset for several reasons. First of all, a good marriage is pleasing to God, and it is according to his will. Bible says that righteousness exalts a nation. Well, a righteous group, faithfully married, also strengthens and lifts up the church as well. Another reason that happy marriages are an asset to the church is that happy marriages provide a wonderful example and blueprint for the young people in this congregation.

You know, on TV and in the movies and so on and so forth, marriage is cheap. Families. Families. You know, you got a dog, a refrigerator, a boy and an old man, man, you got yourself a family. It's no wonder that Generation X is cynical and discouraged when it comes to marriage.

But the example given here, even the example given by those who are having problems in their marriage but are determined to struggle on, make it work. Even that example is a wonderful, wonderful example to our young people that says to them, marriage is a good thing. Marriage can work. And it's the way that God designed us to live. And we say it day after day with the so many good marriages that exist here in this church.

And I also think that good marriages support church growth. You know, generous giving and dedicated service and leadership and evangelism, all those things usually come from those who are not having to use up all of their time and energy and resources dealing with marriage problems and family trouble or divorce. You know, there were only 40 odd people at that gathering. But if the entire church showed up, I am convinced that Thanksgiving for a wonderful marriage partner would have been what the majority of the people at that place would have said if they were there. Another theme that came out of our time together there as we shared, was a loving concern for young people.

A loving concern for young people. I mean, almost everybody there had children who were at different stages of development, or they wanted children. I mean, either way, either had them or wanted them. And as the people, as the conversation went around the room, some people asked for prayers to be better parents. Might be surprising to young people to know that your parents are continually praying that God helps them be better parents.

And others were grateful for the help that the church provided in guiding their children. One thought that came out over and over again was that the Choctaw congregations like one big family, and my children are your responsibility and your children are my responsibility. And still others wept at missed opportunities and the direction that some of their children had taken. But every person there was not just interested in their kids. They were painfully and wholeheartedly concerned about what their children would become.

Each person expressed it differently, but in the end, the group had pretty much the same hopes for their kids. Pretty much the same hope for their kids boiled down to 2 things. 1, they wanted them to be safe. You know, with all the things and all the people in the world, I can almost never convince my kids that there are bad people out there. And that, parents, isn't that tough?

Isn't that a tough sell? I can hardly convince my children that there are people out there who deliberately want to destroy them, That would take pleasure in destroying their minds and destroying their bodies and certainly destroying their souls. That means they know that that's what they want to do, and they would love to do it. I can't convince them. I've met some of those people.

Every parent there wanted their children to be safe. Everyone there wanted God to keep their children free from danger, from the bad stuff that's out there. And the other thing was this, you know, there was there was no talk of my daughter the lawyer or my son the dentist. Nobody mentioned that. No.

Not one parent said, well, I want my kid to be this big shot. Not one parent said that. But every single one of them wanted their child to know and to remain faithful to Jesus Christ. Everyone with their whole heart, with their whole soul, with their whole being would give anything, I think would give their lives if they could guarantee that their children would be faithful and remain faithful to Jesus Christ. Actually, the most beautiful moments came when some of the younger people who were going through adolescence themselves or who were young marrieds, who have kind of just come out of adolescence, when their turn came, they expressed their own faith and their own dependence on God.

That was a beautiful moment. And it served as a kind of example of all the things that everyone desired for their own children. As we saw those young people talk about their faith and their love for God, I think every single parent in that room said, Oh, boy, that's what I want my daughter and that's what I want my son to say when my daughter and my son gets to that point. You know, I've seen congregations where there were facilities to provide recreation for youth, you know, fancy basketball halls and ping pong rooms and all kinds of stuff. And churches that could afford full time ministers who would do nothing but take care of young people.

And I've seen youth groups that were well organized and disciplined and productive, and they had all t shirts that said that they belong to a certain youth group and they had their own bus and oh, man. But I have rarely seen people who are so painfully aware of the needs of young people and concerned about making sure that their souls are safe. You know, I would light a candle and I would set it forth as a hope that the love and the concern shown there will eventually transform itself into a strong spiritual leadership around which our young people can find safety and seek salvation. And then finally, I guess the third element that ran through each comment as I listened and participated was the genuine love, the genuine love that each person there had for the church at Choctaw. It was just amazing.

Time after time, the people that spoke mentioned how much they loved not the idea of the Restoration Movement, not the New Testament church, how much they loved the church that meets at the corner of Reno and Choctaw. Now, we can appreciate and we can be thankful to God for his plan for the church given in the New Testament. You know as well as I how much I have preached on this concept. Philosophically, it was the concept that drew me to the thing called the churches of Christ. No other religious group has what we have in the restoration movement.

It's fantastic. And we can be grateful to the pioneers who have the courage to go back to the Bible and restore the New Testament church back to the way that the Lord and the apostles meant it to be. We can be thankful to Campbell and Stone, all these people. Next quarter, they'll be teaching a course on church history. I think it'd be fascinating to see what our roots are all about from a historical perspective.

This is our heritage. This is where we come from in the restoration movement, which ultimately became the churches of Christ. And we can study and appreciate these ideas and all these things, but I'll tell you something, in the end, we don't live with ideas, we live with people. We live with people. We don't sit next to doctrine.

We sit next to a human being, a living, breathing person, and the Church of Christ, no matter where it is, is made up of people, not doctrinal ideas. For this reason, churches of Christ may be the same in belief and organization and name. Yes. But the experience of each congregation is never the same. Believe me, I've been in lots of them.

I've been run out of some, and I have run away from some. And they still had the same name on the front door. They call themselves the Church of Christ. You see, the experience depends on the people and how mature they are in Jesus Christ. The people who were together that night loved being together.

And do you know why? Because they loved each other. They loved not only the people in the room, but they sincerely loved the church that meets at the corner of Choctaw and Reno. Not the idea of it, not just the doctrine of it, they love the people of it. Last Sunday in my sermon, I said that it wasn't my job as the minister to love everybody, remember?

Now when you preach, there's a psychic thing that goes on. Don't get me wrong now. I'm not saying a psychic hotline. Oh, 1-eight hundred Mike. But if you've yet if you've ever had to do it for a long time, there is a relationship that goes on between the audience, the people that you're talking to, and yourself.

It's like a vibe. I don't know. You know? When I preach about certain tough subjects, I mean, my words sometimes just come back bouncing and hit me and I'm dead tired after because minds are closed, hearts are hard, you know. And sometimes when stuff goes down easy, it's it's like lift.

There's lift. We're all we're flying, you know. And when I said that, there was a kind of collective shudder. I felt it just go through me when I said, it's not my job to love y'all. And, of course, what I meant by that was that it was unfair to expect only the minister to be a loving person.

I mean, what I meant was it was everybody's responsibility to be loving towards everyone else because one person couldn't provide the love for 350 other people. It's impossible. That's what I meant to say. After the lesson, a lot of people came up to me in the fire and you know what they did? They said, You know, we love you.

I love you. It's okay. They hugged me and said, I love you. I felt so guilty. Aren't you happy?

You made me feel guilty for a change. Because people were thinking that I felt unloved for some reason or other. They got that impression from what I said. Certainly, that's not what I meant. But that was just a small example of the kind of love that exists here in this place.

I noticed that as each person spoke about the church, they counted the people in it as the thing that held them close to their faith. Some said that the reason that they stayed in the area despite job and family opportunities elsewhere was because the Choctaw congregation was such an important part of their lives. Sure, I could get more money, and sure, I got an opportunity, and sure, I could be closer to my brother over here. But I love these people. And I'm not so sure I could get that kind of love over there.

Or maybe I could get some more money over there. But I'm not so sure I could buy what I've got here over there. 1 by 1, all the candles were lit that night as each family shared their concerns and their dreams for 1996. But the candle that shines the brightest was the love that each one evidently had for one another. You know what?

Had Jesus come that night, he would have recognized his disciples. Of course, he didn't come for us that night, but I'm convinced that he certainly was among us. The only thing missing last week was that every member of this congregation did not have their candle burning during the New Year's Eve fellowship evening. And, of course, other people have their own families to be with. This is not a condemnation I'm making here.

But if all of you could have been there, I am persuaded that together, together, we could have celebrated the joy of so many good families joined together in one place. Do you know how rare it is to get so many great marriages and families together in one place in this day and age? We are a rarity. It's our strength. It's the beauty of who we are.

We could have celebrated the concern for young people and their future, especially the future of their souls. I say to my children, all I want is for you to be in heaven with me. That's all I want. I would lay down my life to guarantee that. And we could have celebrated the sincere and deep love that Jesus Christ has produced in the hearts of so many people for the Lord's Church here in Choctaw.

Rich and I, Rich de Borde, very kindly drove Paul's motorcycle to the repair shop on a day when it was like 12 degrees, nearly froze to death. You know, his wife's going to kill me for dragging him out there. And we were talking about things and we were talking about how important it was to have the love of the church. What a beautiful thing it was to have that experience in one place. And he told me again tonight how important that was to him, how important that draw is, What an incalculable wealth that is for him and his family, and we agreed about that thing.

I pray that the small circle that we had will grow this year. I pray that each of you will make an effort to draw closer to God by drawing closer to your brethren this year so that by New Year's Eve 1996, your candle will be added to make our love shine even brighter than it does already. And, of course, I also pray that those who are not in the church will accept Christ's invitation to repent, to be baptized, or to be restored, whatever is appropriate for you, so that we might include you in our circle of brotherly love next year. If you need to become a Christian or need to be restored as a faithful one, please come as we stand and as we sing our song of invitation.