Before You Leave for Heaven

Well, we've talked about getting to heaven, funerals. It's amazing. Only in a Christian church can you talk about funerals, when you're going to die, when you're going to go to heaven, gravestones, all kinds of things like that, and everybody be happy and smiling. Title of my sermon is, Before You Leave for Heaven. You know, one of the unique experiences that ministers have, excuse me, is the time that we spend with families in crisis.

I mean, everyone, minister or not, experiences a family crisis from time to time. But for ministers, dealing with families in crisis is the normal part of the work week. I mean, it's just normal. I mean, every week there's a crisis, sometimes more than one crisis. So from this perspective, I've been able to observe many sad and difficult situations.

But none so disturbing than a family dividing itself after the loss of a loved one. Now it's normal and unavoidable for extra stress and conflict to arise, when a child is sick, or someone is injured, or someone passes away. I mean, it's normal. It's a stressful time. The same is true when families come together to care for an aging parent or grandparent.

Those are stressful things that have to be done. What is truly sad, however, is the terrible conflict and division that takes place in a family when a parent becomes totally incapacitated or dies. And the survivors have to care for that person or divide the inheritance. You know, I've seen brothers and sisters fight. I mean brothers and sisters, you know, maternal, paternal brothers, not just brothers and sisters in the Lord.

I mean just families. Brothers and sisters fight and scheme and completely alienate each other over issues of parental care or the proper division of the will or the estate. Now there are all kinds of scenarios that cause hard feelings. All kinds of scenarios that will lead to the breakup of a family unit. I want to mention just really a few.

How about the situation where one child takes care of an elderly parent as the primary caregiver without too much help from the other family members. Then the parent dies and leaves the house and other valuables equally among the kids and the grandkids. The primary caregiver feels cheated and demands a larger share in line with the work done, and is refused. Bad blood from that moment on. Okay, I'll give you another scenario.

Parents save up a large amount of money in real estate, but no specific instructions. Only that things be done fairly among the kids. Kids immediately begin to compete for their share of the estate. 1 son with a wife and 3 or 4 kids demands a larger share than his unmarried sister, because of his family. All of a sudden various family members take sides and the battle is on.

I'll give you another one. The executor of an estate interprets the will in such a way as to permit himself interest free loans from the estate. Are we getting closer to home? His family disagrees and wants the money paid back with interest. And the battle is on.

Now some of you are probably reviewing your own personal horror story while I speak. And I'm sure if we could, we'd fill up the hour with more tales of lies and deceit, kindness, greed and foolishness, all triggered by the need to care for our aging parents, and then fairly distribute their wealth and goods once they are gone. So my lesson this morning is very practical. And is directed first of all at the seniors among us, as they make preparations for their eventual journey to the heavenly realm. And secondly, to all families who will sooner or later have to deal with their departure and what they will leave behind.

We all have to go through it. You know, it's a shameful thing to mourn and honor our parents and grandparents at their funeral, and then disrespect their memories by destroying the families they love over money and property. Hopefully, our lesson this morning will help all of us avoid this sad scenario. Now, first of all, it's important to note that the responsibility for family unity, the responsibility for proper understanding of the needs for the care of parents, the responsibility for a smooth transition of assets from 1 generation to another. All of these things are the responsibility of the parents, not the children.

And when parents don't take care of this responsibility, trouble ensues. In my own family, I have seen chaos and rivalry, foolishness, dishonesty, and division, all brought about because parents left the matters of unity, and care, and finances in the complete control of their children. And worse still, the government. Oh yeah, that'll settle it. Let the government come in and take over.

In Proverbs 13:22, Solomon says, A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. Among other things, Solomon was stressing the idea that a well ordered life and a well ordered death was able to foresee and bless even several generations ahead. So my older brothers and sisters, the onus is on you. Not your children or your lawyers, but on you to guarantee that your family remains faithful to one another. To guarantee that your wishes for your last days are clear, and that your wealth is evenly and fairly divided after you're gone.

This is for you. As Christians, as we grow older, you know, we begin to look forward to our heavenly home with God. We look forward to the time, no pain, no suffering, no sorrow, no sin. Won't it be wonderful? That's what we're thinking about, when we all get to heaven.

But before you leave for heaven, please make sure you plan carefully for your departure. Now we all believe that we're going to die at some time or another. Why not plan for this very sure day? We're planning for retirement. The Old Testament provides us with some good examples of those who planned well, and those who failed to plan for their departure, and the consequences of each.

For example, an example of bad planning is seen in the story of Isaac and his sons, Esau and Jacob, in Genesis 27:1-4. We read about how Isaac, advanced in years and nearly blind, decides to bless Esau, his older son, with his inheritance, with the blessing. Now this he did without prayer, without discussion with his wife, who had been told by God at the birth of her twin boys, that the older would serve the younger son (Genesis 25:25). Not the other way around.

In other words, the blessing was to go to the younger son. Now we know that Isaac's poorly planned attempt to distribute his blessing was thwarted by Jacob at his mother's insistence. And consequently, what happened to Jacob? He became a fugitive most of his life. He had a hard time.

The family was split. Now if you look at an example on the other side of the page, an example of good planning can be found in the story of David, King David, and his son Solomon. In I Chronicles 22-29, we read about David, Solomon's father, amassing a store of treasure. And he provides for Solomon with plans and instructions for the governing of the nation, and the building of the temple. David also organizes the government.

He organizes the army. He organizes the priestly class, and places Solomon, his son, firmly on the throne as ruler over everyone before he dies. Solomon becomes king before David dies, not after. Things are taken care of from the very beginning. And all of this done according to the plan carefully worked out by his father.

Now we read in II Chronicles that Solomon as king ushered in the most prosperous and peaceful time in Israel's history. Now the difference between Isaac and David was planning. One acted on impulse and at the last minute, and began a lifetime of division and pain for his children and his grandchildren. The other planned carefully for his departure and left a clear pathway for his son, which blessed his house and his nation for 40 years. The fact that Israel was divided at Solomon's death was not David's fault, it was Solomon's fault.

He went away from the pathway that his father had given him. Now the same is true today. Before we leave for heaven, we need to plan for our departure so that those we leave behind have some kind of direction. And this requires several things for us to do, several things for us to think about. First of all, plan for the time when others will take care of us.

We never think about that. We don't mind being caregivers, but we don't want to be taken care of. But many of us will be in that position. Not everybody dies instantly while in full health and vitality. Sometimes there's a season of decline, a loss of mobility, a loss of mental ability.

Have we left clear instructions on how and where we want to be cared for? Does anybody know that? Have we organized our affairs and discussed these matters with the ones we expect to manage our care, while we're still able to communicate clearly? You know, when you're suffering from stage 1 Alzheimer's, it's not the time to start figuring out who's going to take care of you. Have we organized our affairs and discussed these matters with the ones we expect to manage our care, while we're still able to talk to those people?

I mean, if your second daughter is to manage your care and affairs, have you met with the entire family and said, She is going to be in charge. She is going to take care. I've left her the instructions. I want you to cooperate with her. Have we done that?

I don't know how many families I've seen one child battling the rest of the family to take care of the parents because the parents didn't instruct the other kids. Have you instructed people on how much to spend on your care? You know caregivers who know exactly what you want will be able to do their jobs and have less conflict with others, if everybody knows that they are carrying out your wishes and not their own. Another requirement of good planning, prepare for your death. Get ready for it cause it's coming.

I mean, I don't only mean a living will, you know, that gives instructions as to your wishes in the case of, and of life issues, hospice protocol, directives to doctors. That's important living will. Don't wait till you're 70 to have a living will. But also, what do you want people to do once you have passed on? You know, the most satisfying and comforting funerals are the ones where everyone there knows that they are doing something that fulfills the wishes of the deceased.

I'm looking at Tim over there and I was at his mom's funeral and he was telling me, boy, she had that baby planned out. Right, Tim? The songs we were singing were the songs that Mrs. Adams wanted us to sing. Every one of them.

She picked them. How encouraging to know that the songs are your songs. The things said and done are what you want said and done. The people participating are those chosen by you for this very special day. This type of preparation gives you one last chance to speak and bless those that you love while they are together and while they're listening to you one last time.

It's your final message to your loved one. Why not prepare it carefully in advance? How many people say, Why is your love to be at my own funeral? See what's going on? Well, you can prepare your own funeral and know what's going on.

I know in my will, there is a proviso there for what I want at my funeral. There's got to be a gospel preacher in this pulpit or wherever it is, and he better be preaching the gospel. If I have one last shot at it, I want somebody who knows the gospel and is not afraid to preach it to the people who have gone to my funeral. That's in my will. That's in I want that done.

A couple of jazz tunes I won't play, but that's a different thing. I tell John Jones that's when I'm really going to get edgy at my funeral. Another thing to do in advance, prevent division. If there's one thing that will divide and destroy a family, it's greed and envy. It's as if grown adults revert back to being children when mom and dad's will is read.

You know, one child feels they didn't get their fair share. Another fear is that the parents love the sibling more than them because they received a favorite ring or a piece of furniture. And of course there are the husbands and wives of the inheritors, who are coaching from the sidelines to make sure that nobody gets ahead of the line. All of this could be prevented if parents were clear and open about who gets what and why long before the will gets read. When the will is a surprise, it's usually a nasty surprise and nobody's happy.

Most of us, most of us have moderate incomes and property that can be distributed fairly and openly. So that keepsakes, you know, they can be given out appropriately and everybody can be satisfied that mom and dad tried to be fair and kind to each child, each grandchild. We can do it. We can do it. I tell the family, remember it's your parents money.

They earned it. It's theirs, and they can do whatever they want with it. Stop feeling so offended. Just be happy they haven't decided to spend it all on themselves and left some of it for you. Remember, if it's an inheritance, it's free.

You didn't earn it. One last thing to do before you leave for heaven, provide for the church. Provide for the church. God knows that as we grow older, we need to save up in order to care for our needs in retirement. Absolutely.

A certain portion goes to the Lord, but the majority of our resources while we are here are earmarked for our own care. And that's the way it needs to be while we live here of course. The reason we give the first portion to the Lord is so that the Lord will bless the balance of it for our use. That's the idea behind that. He understands we need the majority of our resources for ourselves.

He doesn't begrudge us that. But once we leave this earthly dwelling, once we trade in this worn out body of sin and death for the glorious body designed for our life with God in heaven, We need, we won't need any of our material goods and money anymore. You know, you can't take it with you. The, funeral director at the Rockefeller's funeral was asked, How much did Mr. Rockefeller leave behind?

And the answer was, All of it. Yeah, he left all of it behind. When we die, we won't need any of our material goods anymore. Have we thought that for once in our lives, we are free to give to God whatever we want because we won't need any of it for ourselves? You know, it's always amazing to me that Christians will live a lifetime with the hope of heaven.

And we are thankful for the gospel, and we love the church that has nurtured us, and taught us, and blessed us. But we will not return any of our worldly goods to the church for its work with others, even when we don't need it anymore. You know part of David, remember David the king of Israel I was talking about? Part of his plan in blessing Solomon his son was to leave him part of his own personal fortune to build the temple, so that the nation would be blessed by God's presence in generations after him. You know, I've seen faithful brothers and sisters who love the Lord and loved his church and served it diligently all their lives.

And because they didn't think of it, they passed on. And after passing on, they left everything to relatives who bought boats and jewelry and condos and stuff with it. But failed to bless the church that their parents loved in any way. I've also seen good and faithful Christian brothers and sisters who carefully provided large gifts to the church. So that new missions, and more good works, and greater things could be done in the name of the Lord after they were gone.

That too is in my will. I don't need it anymore. I don't have to calculate, Wow, there's the rent. Oh man, I got that dental bill coming in. I got this, I got that.

Boy, should I give the same amount to the Lord this week? I got a lot more expenses than last week. When I'm making up my will, you know, I don't need it anymore. A wise Christian provides not only an inheritance for children and his children's children, he or she also provides for a spiritual legacy so that the work of the Lord can increase in their name long after they have left to go and be with the Father. You're going to heaven.

Don't you want other people to go too? Now some of you might say, Well another money sermon. The preacher wants to pass the plate even after we're dead. Man, what's up with this guy? But if you know me and if you're really listening, you will realize that this sermon is not about money.

It's about being prepared. As Christians, we need to be prepared for all kinds of things. Now today, I've zeroed in on being prepared in such a way for our death, that our passing blesses our family and also blesses our church. Instead of dividing our family and limiting the church, if you're not prepared to leave, then I suggest that you not put it off. Really, sit down and write down what your wishes are for your personal care, your goods, your family, and your church, and don't put it off.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Now of course, your most important preparation is that which affects your soul, not your will. All of the preparations made in a will can't guarantee your own happiness if you've not prepared to face God in judgment. I can tell you that when someone dies, the first thought that loved one has, especially if they're a Christian is, what is going to happen to their soul? Not, when are they going to read the will?

Brothers and sisters, you can leave no better gift to your families upon your departure than the assurance that you passed away as a faithful Christian man or woman. You want to comfort your family, comfort them with your faithfulness. You may have nothing much to leave your children, but if you have left them with the knowledge that you were faithful Christians, you have given them the greatest comfort and assurance that any parent can have. We can't draw up wills here in the church. That's not our business.

And we have no power to make contracts. But for those who are willing, we can prepare you for eternal life by hearing your confession of faith in Jesus Christ, by acknowledging your decision to repent of your sins and by witnessing your burial in the waters of baptism to wash away your sin and prepare you for life eternal with God. You may have your will ready, but if you're not ready for heaven, then we encourage you. We encourage you to arrive at judgment prepared. And if you need to do that this morning, please come forward now as we stand and as we sing our song of encouragement.