A Shred of Doubt

Have you ever noticed that Paul the Apostle never mentions visiting his victims? Paul, before his conversion, was the chief persecutor of the church. He himself says that: he imprisoned Christians (Acts 22:4); tortured them (Acts 22:5); and had them killed (Acts 26:10).

Paul reviews his past in a letter to Timothy and declares that he is the greatest of sinners because of these crimes against believers (I Timothy 1:15). And yet there is no record that he ever made any direct restitution to the people he injured. After all, he had destroyed homes, cause incredible suffering to countless people whom he now called brother; but there's never any mention of his trying to make right some of the things that he did.

One practical reason was that he probably couldn't even if he tried. He had no power to release those in Jewish prisons, no money to defray anyone's damages and although he did raise people from the dead - God did not direct him to raise any of his own victims from the grave.

The apostle explains why God stripped him of every chance to pay back his own debt when he says,

...for this reason I found mercy, in order that in me as the foremost (sinner), Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience, as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.
- I Timothy 1:16

Paul created a debt he couldn't pay back and Jesus used him as an example to demonstrate how much sin His sacrifice could cover.

When you have a shred of doubt because you can't change your past or because you are unable to make restitution for your sins, simply compare yourself to Paul.

If God paid it all for Paul, the chief sinner, He will pay for all of your sins as well.