In Love for Life

This verse clearly teaches that in marriage, men and women leave their existing families to establish a new family unit consisting of a husband and wife joined together for life in marriage. This is God's plan and is seen by Him as a permanent relationship.

Look for responses that indicate failure of some kind. Failure in:

• Upholding the marriage covenant and God's plan.
• Upholding faithfulness to each other in the marriage.
• Sin at some level of both or one of the members of the marriage.

Divorce may be declared officially by some sort of legal decree, but the divorce begins long before when the couple or individual in the relationship begins to disengage or loosen the ties that bind them to their marital partner.

When we obey God, we obey our Lord's will to establish a relationship with Him. This process begins with our belief that Jesus is the Divine son of God which is subsequently expressed through repentance for sin and baptism (immersion in water). The Holy Spirit then adds us to the church, often described as the bride of Christ" (II Corinthians 11:2; Ephesians 5:21-27; Revelation 19:7-8; Matthew 25:1-13; Revelation 21:1-2).

This relationship remains if we are faithful to our covenant with God. Note: God does not break the covenant, we do. We break this covenant as we allow something to interfere with our relationship with God and draw us away from exclusive commitment to God (See also Exodus 20:3). This lack of faithfulness is often a gradual process.

As noted in the text, the divorce of a couple usually begins long before the actual legal decree. Sometimes this occurs gradually. As also noted, there are times when something or someone is allowed to come between the couple causing them to violate their exclusive covenant to each other.

The bond between a man and woman was the first thing God established after he created woman (Genesis 2:18-25). This forms the foundation for Malachi 2:16 where God states that He hates divorce.

• Matthew 19:6 states that God forbids divorce.
• Hebrews 13:4 – Sexual activity is reserved for the marriage relationship. God considers sexual activity outside of marriage as sin and subject to God's judgment.
• Matthew 19:9 – God allows for divorce in the situation of adultery. Note: He allows for it but does not command it.
• I Corinthians 7:15 – God allows for divorce in the situation of abandonment but does not command it. Remember that physical abandonment begins with emotional abandonment.

Matthew 19:9 and I Corinthians 7:15 are to protect the innocent party from bearing guilt in the situation.

Complete honesty

There must be effective communication between the husband and wife. They must not only provide words, but also consistent behavior and feedback. Being united or bound in marriage means openness and honesty between both parties.

Complete fidelity

This means we keep ourselves exclusively for each other. We reserve the best of ourselves for our spouses. · Complete submission to Jesus – This is true for both husband and wife. Being united in faithfulness to Jesus supports being faithful to each other (See Proverbs 31:30; Proverbs 12:4; Joshua 24:15; Ephesians 5:25)

Develop spiritual intimacy

Physical intimacy is a significant part of marriage. Spiritual intimacy is even more significant. It is an extension of our spiritual intimacy with God. There are 3 components of spiritual intimacy for a couple:

• Growing in knowledge of each other
• Growing in trust in one another
• Praying with and for one another

We grow in knowledge and trust by spending time together. Sometimes this is scheduled time, other times it is just being together to experience a shared period. As we grow together spiritually, we should also share prayer time together. We pray with and for each other. We share with one another the things we wish to be brought before God. When we do this, we continue to grow in knowledge and trust for one another. It is a positive cycle of spiritual togetherness mirroring what God intends for a successful and sustained marriage relationship.

Suggested activity: If possible, have the couples pair off in an area away from other couples and have them spend some time in quiet prayer with each other. As an alternative, have the couples commit to spending time in prayer together in their homes. Encourage couples to report back later how this activity helped them grow together spiritually.

As faithful followers of Jesus, we commit to following His teachings. As such, we realize God hates divorce, so we commit to avoiding it in every way possible.