- Please open your Bibles to Proverbs 31.
Our lesson will be from that particular passage tonight.
Seems that women are very much in the news these days.
Leading marches in order to demonstrate
their political power, their political influence.
Standing up to and denouncing predators and abusers.
Seems every single day a new name pops up.
Championing the rights of women to compete
fairly in every area of business
and politics, sports, entertainment.
On the face of it, it would be hard to find fault
with any of these individual initiatives and objectives.
I mean who could who could argue against these things?
The women's vote should be considered
crucial by politicians of course.
And women should be judged on their skills
and on their training and not on their gender
when it comes to employment and opportunity
for advancement in any area of endeavor.
Who would argue against that?
And we as a society should never enable or ignore or defend
predators or abusers no matter how rich they are,
no matter how famous they are they should be denounced.
They should be punished.
So all these issues you know they're all logical and just.
But you know me.
I just can't help but think that the ultimate goal of these
and other movements headed up by women, some women
that the end game is to erase any difference
there may exist between the sexes.
I think that's one of the objectives of these things.
And I would go one step further and suggest
that there may be some that are hoping
that the women's movement will ultimately lead to
a society where women dominate men.
I have no idea of exactly how this would work
but I'm fairly confident that it, if dominance is the goal
then women will eventually be guilty of
the same kind of cruel and unjust actions that
abusive men have made who sought the same kind of power.
Whoever has the goal of dominating usually
does not have justice and fairness in mind.
Because the goal of domination doesn't bode well
with the goal of justice and fairness,
whether it that be women searching for dominance
or men searching for dominance.
In today's society it seems that men
are encouraged to become more like women.
And women are demanding to be treated more like men.
In addition to this young people are told
that they can explore every shade of gender identity
until they find a sexual personification
that they feel comfortable with, imagine.
And we wonder why according to Psychology Today
that the suicide rate among young adults, that's Millennials
has tripled since 1950, tripled.
And that suicide is the second most
cause of death among college students.
We wonder why this is so.
In answer to this worrying trend and confusion
over what is male and what is female
the Bible makes a clear and defining statement.
Genesis 1:27, God created man in his own image
male and female he created them.
There are only two sexes.
They are different and they are meant to be different.
As the French say concerning men and women
[speaking in foreign language]
In English it's long live the difference.
And wise is the individual that understands the difference.
Since I began this lesson referring mainly to women
I'd like to focus on the female gender
in defining some of the important characteristics
that define not just a woman,
but that defines a godly woman.
You see there's nothing wrong with a woman
who desires political and economic opportunity.
And nothing wrong of course with a woman
who refuses to be victimized by some abuser.
These are well and good.
It's just that these goals belong to the world
and they're appreciated here in the world.
What I desire for women is that they aim higher
for goals that are above, for goals that belong to
the kingdom of God not the kingdom of darkness here below.
For this reason I'd like to share with you
the portrait of an ideal woman designed by God
and revealed some 3,000 years ago
in Solomon's book of Proverbs.
In this passage the writer indicates
some of the qualities possessed by
the ideal woman who is pleasing to God.
Whether she has political success or not
is not in the equation.
And so we go to chapter 31,
the description of an ideal woman.
We find this passage at the end of Proverbs,
this beautiful acrostic poem extolling
the virtues of the ideal woman.
Acrostic poems are those with each line of poetry
beginning with the subsequent letter of the alphabet.
So if we were writing an acrostic poem in English
the first line would begin with the letter A
and then the first word in the second line
would begin with the letter B and then
the third line you know the first word
would begin with the letter C and so on and so forth.
That's an acrostic poem.
In this poem the writer begins his description by saying
one thing about the virtuous woman.
He says she is rare.
First thing he says, she is rare.
Read with me, 31 verse 10.
He says a wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
He's saying not every woman is like this.
Just like not every piece of jewelry is precious.
Pearls are precious because they are rare
and they're hard to find and we know that all jewelry shines
but not all jewelry is valuable.
In the same way he says a virtuous woman,
a woman who has inner strength is hard to find,
even harder to find he says than precious jewels.
So he answers this question what makes her
so valuable in verses 11 and 12.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good not harm all the days of her life.
So the writer summarizes her value
in describing her relationship to her husband.
She is trustworthy he says.
He tells us that the innate quality
that this woman possesses is her trustworthiness
not just to her husband but as an essential quality
that she has as a person with or without a husband.
She is trustworthy.
And though he goes on to say when you have
found a woman like this he says
you have found a precious stone.
Now in the following verses the author goes on
to describe the outward signs that reveal
that precious inward quality of her trustworthiness.
You cannot look at a person, you cannot look at a woman
and just by looking at her see trustworthiness.
That's an inside thing.
And so the author describes the outside things
that point to the inside things.
First of all he says she's a good manager and a hard worker.
This points to her trustworthiness.
Verse 13 he says she selects wool
and flax and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night.
She provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it out of her earnings.
She plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously.
Her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows she has no fear for her household
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed.
She is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them
and supplies belts to the tradesmen.
A long passage describing several of her actions.
And he gives by doing this examples
of her hard work and good management.
For example in verse 13 she's cheerful he says in her work.
She doesn't complain or see her work as burdensome.
Verse 14 she uses imagination he says in preparing food
and is a wise shopper careful with her money.
Verse 15 she manages her responsibilities well in her home.
In other words she's on top of
the situation concerning her affairs.
Verse 16 to 24 he says she has good business sense
and she knows how to turn a profit.
Without sacrificing her home she is able
to use her business talents to the advantage of her home.
In other words she doesn't ruin her home with outside work.
She builds up her home with her outside work.
Verse 17 to 19 she is not afraid he says of hard work
and does not waste her time at home.
This is a woman who knows the difference
between leisure and laziness.
She demonstrates that a well managed home
is a profitable enterprise.
She understands that time is money even for the woman
who is at home and uses her time at home profitably.
I've always said to our children
a well managed home is like a second income.
In verses 21 to 23 by her work at home the writer says
that she contributes to her families
and to her husband's reputation in the community.
Her children are clean, well fed, and mannered,
as is her husband, and this is a reflection
of their home of which she is the manager.
And so if marriage is a partnership
the woman that the author describes here
is a very good partner to have.
So in describing the outward signs
that point to the inward quality of the ideal woman
the author begins by describing the things
that makes her a good manager and a hard worker.
Other outward signs of inward quality
that the writer manages to say.
He says she has a good character and a good reputation.
Verses 25 to 27, strength and dignity are her clothing
and she smiles at the future.
She opens her mouth in wisdom
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
And so the second outward sign that reveals this
trustworthiness is her good character
and her reputation with her community.
And he says four things about her character.
Number one in verse 25, she's kind and generous.
James tells us in his book that benevolence
to the poor and homeless is the sign of true piety.
James chapter 1 verse 27.
And so this is a truly spiritual woman
with a godly character and she has confidence.
She's not afraid of the future the near future.
or the far future because her faith and her good works
cover her with honor and power.
She is a person who is at ease in her conscience
because her heart and her hands
are busy doing what is right.
She is not guilt ridden or depressed
because she is busy giving herself away to others,
others that she loves.
In verse 26 he says that she's wise.
Her tongue is not for gossip but rather for edification.
You know this is one of my own mother's qualities.
She is long gone now but when I think back about my mother
she had many good qualities but the one
that I admired the most in her was her ability
never to say a bad word about anyone.
Even someone that was actually deserving to be brought down
because they had done something to my mother
which was nasty or unkind I couldn't even provoke her
to say anything bad about them.
She was always making, not excuses but making
allowances for other people's weaknesses.
It was a beautiful quality that she had
and one that I struggle with myself.
But thankfully one that I find in my own wife as well.
Both of them never use their words to destroy,
always to build others up beginning with
myself of course and our children and then others.
This is wisdom from above.
And the woman of the poem demonstrates
that she possesses this kind of wisdom.
And then in verse 27 he says she is concerned
but her first and primary concern
is her home and her family.
It's not that she isn't concerned
with the problems of her society.
She helps the poor and so on and so forth.
But the concerns of her home are first.
When we take care of our own home first
there are usually less problems in the world.
One of the reasons there are so many problems in the world
is that a lot of people don't take care of their own homes
and so other people have to take care
of their children and their problems.
This woman is aware of the needs of her family
and the community and she's concerned about fulfilling them
using all of her skills and qualities
refined through the years of service and practice.
Paul says in I Corinthians 11 verse three that
the man is the head of the woman
and consequently the head of the home yes.
But Lemuel the writer of this material here
balances out this picture by showing us
that the woman is the heart of the home.
And when the head and the heart are in union
with Christ as Lord of the home
what a wonderful place that becomes
for whoever lives in that home.
And then in verses 28 to 31 the last verses
the author describes the rewards awaiting such a person
and the clear signs that this is a virtuous woman.
She has this trustworthiness demonstrated
by good stewardship of her home and a godly character.
And these two things bring her reward.
The first reward is that her own family praises her.
He says in verse 28 her children rise up and bless her.
Her husband also and he praises her saying
many daughters have done nobly but you excel them all.
Her children are thankful that they have a mother like her.
What a reward for a mother to have grateful children.
Her husband sees her as the best of all women.
This suggests of course his absolute fidelity and devotion.
And I might say in a personal note this passage here
Proverbs 31, at Lee's and ours, at our wedding ceremony
this is the passage that I read to her
as part of the marriage ceremony.
A passage that I read to her because I believed at that time
and saw in her many of these qualities here.
And I'm happy to say that after nearly 40 years
of a happy marriage all of those things
that I believed were true about her are true
and continue to be true about her to this day.
And so this virtuous woman, her family praises her.
And then he says another reward her community praises her.
Her neighbors, her friends and community
see her as a woman of value and character.
In the end the author summarizes the true essence
of the value of this person by saying
charm is deceitful and beauty is vain
but a woman who fears the Lord she shall be praised.
Give her the product of her hands
and let her works praise her in the gates.
And so here the motivating factors as you see
are not beauty or charm, social acclaim.
She's a person that fears meaning
she respects and obeys the Lord.
This is what motivates her.
Her desire to work well, to serve others.
to develop a good character are inspired
by her basic faith and desire to obey God
who wants all of his daughters to become women of value.
I want to ask you a question here.
Want to see if you've noticed something.
Have you noticed the things that were
not mentioned in this poem about this woman?
Did you notice that nothing was mentioned about her looks?
No mention of her skin or her hair, her weight,
her height, what kind of figure she had no.
No mention of this at all.
No mention of her independence.
Not even a question.
No mention of her educational level,
her achievements in that area, no mention of it.
Doesn't mean she didn't have any
it's just, it's not mentioned.
These were not mentioned not because
they are not in themselves important
but rather because they did not make her
more valuable one way or another.
Today we place so much value on beauty.
We placed so much value on looks, so much so.
Oh yes we want somebody to be honest,
and oh yeah sure we'd like them to be kind hearted,
and yeah I'd be nice if they were
good and lovely yeah those are all good
but the number one thing if you judge by
what we look at, what we watch, what we buy
the number one thing is how we look
and how we look to other people.
But you notice here nothing is mentioned
of any of these things, not a thing.
Notice however what the Spirit of God through Lemuel
actually did mention and consider important.
First her work concerning her responsibility
towards her husband and family and community.
Today quote community church.
Secondly her attitude of kindness and wisdom.
You know wisdom's a little different than knowledge.
Wisdom is the proper application
of knowledge and experience.
The poem mentions her confidence and her lack of guilt.
It's amazing sometimes we have Christians
who have been Christians 10, 20, 30 years
and you get to talk to them and the thing that comes out
the most is how guilty they feel about things.
And yet here he talks about this woman.
Doesn't seem that she was doing anything spectacular here.
The one thing you do notice is how confident she is
for the future, no fear, her lack of guilt.
And he mentions her reward of praise
from the three groups that she serves,
her family, her community, and of course God himself
praises her because she serves Him
and He is the one that wrote this poem in her honor.
You know we have extremes in recognizing
women in our society, either we have a day that honors
only those women that have children, you know Mother's Day.
Or the various organizations that promote
those women who see themselves as quote leaders,
social leaders, feminists, whatever.
I want to encourage those women
who work hard in raising children.
But I want to also include all those women
who are striving to become women of valor
in our society regardless of their status.
And who are these women in our day today?
Well there are women who are resisting
the pressure from the media and society
to work only on the outward beauty
but through patience and obedience to Jesus
are creating a beautiful inward person.
People only give lip service to the idea
that what's important is what's on the inside.
They put that in greeting cards that they sell for $5
for a piece of cardboard and a nice word.
We give lip service to that.
But the truth of the matter is that God...
You ever noticed it never says God looks at the skin?
It always says God looks at the heart,
or God knew what He was thinking.
or God looks at the the inward manner.
God looks at the inward things.
Why would we not be working and putting
all of our efforts into the inward person?
Knowing full well that the outward
person is day by day decaying.
The hint of that, of the difference of the two natures
is that on the inside, and as I grow older
I see how this is so true.
I remember my grandmother saying
when she was about 85 or 86 she said to me
when the springtime comes my thought is I want to get up
and take the bus she, never drove a car.
Take the bus and the subway and go downtown
because I want to buy a new spring dress and new shoes.
And then I looked down at these 87 year old legs
and realize they won't carry me there anymore.
What was she saying?
She was saying in my spirit I still somehow feel young.
It's my body that's old.
And I think that when we realize that
we begin to understand this idea of eternal life,
this idea of spiritual life that goes on because
we simply have to look at our own spirit
and that it's always young.
It's always kind of at the same place isn't it?
It's always the same age.
Oh yes our souls, our inward man it gets wiser,
hopefully more pious with age.
But somehow it always stays just kind of the same age.
It's the body that's getting old.
Doesn't that teach us that we ought to then
be working on that inward person
that never grows old, that has been designed to live on
after this carcass is done with?
I want to encourage the women who in 1000 ways
every single day serve their husbands,
or their families or the church, or school,
or community and they do it with a smile
and with sincerity and with diligence.
Those are the women I want to honor.
Women whose strongest desire is not to be free
and independent but rather desire to be useful
and kind and generous to those who are in need.
Women who are keeping themselves pure
and ready for the return of Jesus Christ.
Those are the women that I want to encourage.
Those are the women that I salute.
We have many such women in our congregation
and our young men should take careful note of this lesson
and review it seriously because I think many times
their criteria for finding wives
is based more on worldly ideas hatched in Hollywood
than Godly ones found in the scripture.
And so for these women whether they are married, or widowed,
or single, with or without children
I pray that God will bless you as true women of valor.
I also pray that as the precious jewels that you are
you will shine forth among all others
and receive the reward of praise that you so richly deserve
from your families, from your spouse,
from your community, from your friends,
from your church family, and of course from God Himself.
So for those women who want to become
the virtuous women spoken of here
obviously the first step is to give yourself
to Christ in repentance and baptism.
And in so doing become pure again no matter what you've done
you come pure again and special in God's sight.
I remember many years ago in Montreal
a young woman became a Christian, new Christian.
And then she was to be married.
And she came to me and said you know I'm getting married.
She was marrying a young Christian man.
And she felt conflicted because
she had had a child out of wedlock, she'd had an abortion.
She had led a very worldly life, impure sexually.
And she wanted to know if she could
wear a white wedding dress.
And felt conflicted about the idea knowing
who she was and what she had done,
was it okay if she wore a white dress to her wedding?
And I reminded her that on the day that she was baptized
the blood of Jesus Christ washed away all of her sins
and she was renewed, pure, virginal in the eyes of God.
And I say when you walk down the aisle in that white dress
know that your future husband will be delighted
and God will be blessing you as His daughter,
pure, sinless, joyful, a young woman of valor.
If you need to put on that white wedding dress
to be a bride of Christ. and we encourage you always
to do that, and if you've gone away from the Lord
and not been the kind of woman that God wants you to be
then I say the same thing to you as I would say
to any of the brothers, repent
and return to Him who loves you and is ready to forgive you.
And for anyone else that may need the prayers
of the church we are ready to do that.
The elders are here ready to minister to you
in any way you may need so we encourage you
to come forward now as Johnny leads us
in the song of invitation, brother Jonathan.