1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,900 Tonight, I want to talk to you about habits, especially bad habits, and how to break them; 2 00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:12,020 something very practical, something we all, including the speaker tonight, 3 00:00:12,020 --> 00:00:14,960 need to know more about. 4 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:23,300 To begin with, the word "habit" comes from a latin word which means "to hold" or to "live in". 5 00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:30,280 Habit is some way of acting which, because of repetition, 6 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:34,840 becomes a normal part of our lives. Keyword there is repetition. 7 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:41,220 Now, we all have habits, all kinds of habits. Some of them are good, for example, regular exercise, 8 00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:49,020 personal hygiene, of course, regular Bible reading, church attendance, 9 00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:54,840 moderate consumption of food, getting lots of sleep - good habits that we have, that help us physically, 10 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,940 emotionally, spiritually. 11 00:00:57,940 --> 00:01:01,660 These are the types of things that our parents try to instill in us as young people. 12 00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:04,739 Marty was talking about that this morning. 13 00:01:04,740 --> 00:01:10,760 Especially moms, you know, they're the ones that develop and continually 14 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:18,520 help us to develop those good habits, when we are young. 15 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:23,100 As young people because our parents know that these habits 16 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:28,580 will serve us well as we grow older. of course, we also have bad habits, 17 00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:31,180 and that's what I want to talk about tonight. 18 00:01:31,180 --> 00:01:35,640 Those unhealthy or immoral practices that, because of repetition - 19 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:42,000 I keep going back to that word, because of repetition, have also become habits in our lives. 20 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:47,700 Now I'm not just talking about the usual bad habits that are evident, because some habits, they're evident. 21 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:53,100 You can spot them right away right. Things like tobacco use or bad language, these are easy to spot. 22 00:01:53,100 --> 00:02:00,255 And many people feel self-righteous if they, themselves, have managed to avoid or give up these things, 23 00:02:00,255 --> 00:02:02,200 in order to please the Lord. 24 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:07,780 Nothing worse than somebody that keeps going after you for smoking because they, last week 25 00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:13,420 they quit smoking. All of a sudden, this week, they're going to teach everybody how not to smoke. 26 00:02:13,420 --> 00:02:15,320 We understand that, 27 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:20,560 but there are other bad habits that we have, that are much more subtle, 28 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,460 but as unacceptable as 29 00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:31,120 talking dirty or using tobacco or abusing alcohol. You just don't notice them as much. 30 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:38,640 For example, some people have the habit of wanting their own way all the time. 31 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:42,440 That's a habit, a bad one. 32 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:49,740 Or some people continually talk about others, usually in a negative way. 33 00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:51,880 That's a bad habit. 34 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,180 How about people who are stingy? 35 00:02:54,180 --> 00:03:01,300 Their habit is to make sure they always keep the best part or the biggest share for themselves. 36 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:05,620 Now, there's a nasty habit that's not always evident. 37 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:08,220 Then there are people who are busybodies. 38 00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:13,940 They can never mind their own business. They have to run everybody else's life and everybody else's business. 39 00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:21,040 It's a habit with them. They always do this, if the opportunity presents itself. 40 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:25,320 That's a bad habit. I mean, I could go on about bad habits. 41 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:33,200 It's easy to list them. The habit of making yourself look good at the expense of other people. 42 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:37,380 The habit of giving up too early. 43 00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:39,560 That's a bad habit. 44 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:49,249 The habit of not telling the whole truth, or massaging the truth in such a way that it makes you look better 45 00:03:49,249 --> 00:03:55,080 than others. The habit of taking the easy way all the time. 46 00:03:55,080 --> 00:04:00,971 The habit of getting angry all the time. The habit of blaming others for everything. 47 00:04:00,971 --> 00:04:06,870 The habit of feeling sorry for yourself. The habit of ducking your responsibilities. 48 00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:12,200 All bad habits. Have I touched on yours yet? 49 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,180 Certainly touched on a lot of mine. 50 00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:21,220 You see, I believe that it's never too late, in fact, it's necessary that we develop good habits if we want to live 51 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:27,760 happier and more spiritually fruitful lives. 52 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:36,180 Worry, stress, guilt, fear, anger, are often the results of negative habits that we have cultivated and 53 00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:40,800 repeated over and over again, throughout our lives. 54 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:46,681 The way to break out of the cycle of worry and guilt and other depressing emotions, is to break our bad habits 55 00:04:46,681 --> 00:04:52,498 and replace them with habits that will produce greater happiness and satisfaction in our lives. 56 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,840 I mean, it's pretty evident right? 57 00:04:55,840 --> 00:05:02,060 Don't need a written statement to understand that. Or to know that that's the case. 58 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:06,300 You break bad habits, your life gets better of course. 59 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:11,220 So my lesson this evening, I want to examine more closely, not bad habits, 60 00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:17,620 but the results of bad habits in our everyday lives. And more importantly, how to 61 00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:25,120 overcome them. Walk out of here with something, all right, not just a reminder of our bad habits. 62 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:29,620 Now bad habits have external consequences. 63 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:35,200 An easy thing, I pick smoking. Smoking - cancer, among other things. 64 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,520 There's a negative result of that bad habit. 65 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:43,660 You've got to - if your bad habit is you've got a bad temper or you can't control your temper, well, 66 00:05:43,669 --> 00:05:46,560 then you're going to be in conflict 67 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:52,260 many times in your life. You're going to have to deal with violence many times in your life. 68 00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:58,200 So there are external consequences to our bad habits, but there are also 69 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:02,680 internal consequences of our bad habits as well. 70 00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:06,260 For example, feelings of unworthiness. 71 00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:11,340 That's one of the inward consequences of our bad habits. 72 00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:14,800 Continually repeating the same wrong things, 73 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:21,620 like losing our temper, or over eating, or drinking or drugs, or lying to get out of trouble, or lack of 74 00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:27,480 sexual control, or giving in to self-pity and depression, 75 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:33,476 continually repeating these things makes us feel unworthy, that we don't deserve God's forgiveness 76 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:39,760 or His love. Why? Because we're always repeating the same old bad thing. 77 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:49,140 It's hard to feel worthy before God when you continually repeat the same nonsense over and over again. 78 00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:55,260 A lot of people who feel unworthy, have a hard time becoming Christians because they think God will not 79 00:06:55,260 --> 00:06:55,960 accept them. 80 00:06:55,960 --> 00:07:00,520 They're just too bad, they have too many "bad habits". 81 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:10,180 And that's one of the internal results of having and staying in a bad habit. 82 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:16,250 Another internal consequence of bad habits: discouragement. 83 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:24,350 Bad habits make us feel paralyzed, if you wish, emotionally, spiritually. 84 00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:30,160 We feel helpless because we keep making the same mistakes over and over again. 85 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,480 Our habits seem to be stronger than we are. 86 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,900 And that's awfully discouraging. 87 00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:45,000 Another internal consequence of bad habits: we become defensive. 88 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:53,400 We invent all kinds of methods to avoid dealing directly with our bad habit. For example, we'll laugh it off. 89 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,680 We'll just laugh it off. 90 00:07:55,680 --> 00:08:03,220 People who have - if you listen to conversations between people who mutually have trouble with alcohol abuse, 91 00:08:03,220 --> 00:08:09,101 a lot of their interaction is humor, joking about drinking too much. 92 00:08:09,101 --> 00:08:14,280 Joking about having been so bombed or so stoned or so drunk. 93 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:21,880 I got a better one than that, well, I fell down the stairs. Really? ha, ha, ha. 94 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:28,660 Or we rationalize, it's not so bad. Others do it. I can control it. 95 00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:32,260 I can quit any time. I'm in control. 96 00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:36,100 My answer to that is always, Why don't you? 97 00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:43,740 Or we get angry. If anyone points it out or tries to help us, oh, don't go there. 98 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:50,020 Don't go, that's a, I can't discuss that. That's a no discussion zone. 99 00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:56,840 That's the way we protect our bad habits. Don't let anybody talk to us about it. 100 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:02,100 Or we deny it. We run away. We deny we have a problem. I haven't got a problem. 101 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:13,240 There's even a song about it, "people say I drink too much, they call it a problem, I call it a solution." 102 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:21,230 All of these coping mechanisms, they usually lead to one final coping mechanism: apathy. 103 00:09:21,230 --> 00:09:24,580 I don't care any more. 104 00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:28,000 I don't care what you say. I don't care what the experts say. 105 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:35,400 I don't care what other people say is going to happen to me. I just don't care. Leave me alone. 106 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:39,600 I can't stop, so you might as well just leave me alone. 107 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,980 Apathy. 108 00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:49,860 These are some of the ways we defend our bad habit. Note, that none of these produce peace or happiness. 109 00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:56,400 They simply enable us to continue with our bad habits. 110 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:04,420 Another thing that bad habits produce internally, and that is, rebellious hearts. 111 00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:10,980 We decide to keep our bad habit even if it makes us feel bad. 112 00:10:10,980 --> 00:10:16,420 We choose to keep our bad habit even if God forbids it. 113 00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:24,800 We keep our habit even if our friends and family and conscience are against it. 114 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:31,800 At least we're familiar with our bad habit. And no one is going to make us change. 115 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,875 Some people would rather live with the misery they know, than take a chance 116 00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:37,560 at a happiness they don't know. 117 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:43,520 Of course, these feelings of low, self-esteem, discouragement, defensiveness, anger, 118 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:52,460 these are not the kind of things that produce happiness or peace of mind or love. Love of self or love of others. 119 00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:56,780 I suppose that aside from the harm that we do to ourselves with our bad habits, 120 00:10:56,780 --> 00:11:05,680 the real tragedy is that we model our bad habits on others and are responsible for introducing and 121 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:15,040 encouraging the same bad behavior in other people. And sometimes in people we love. 122 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,000 Well, I don't want to discourage us. I mean, it's Mother's Day. 123 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:24,740 Everybody's happy, everybody waited two hours to eat lunch today, so I know we are in a weakened position. 124 00:11:24,740 --> 00:11:32,640 So enough of the discouragement, I want to talk about the positive side of the story. 125 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:39,180 How to overcome these things. How do we break the cycle? How do we get rid of bad habits? 126 00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:47,920 Again, I speak as someone who has had many and continues to have many bad habits. 127 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:53,340 Here are some things to do, to try to break out of the cycle. Remember, I told you the key word - repetition. 128 00:11:53,340 --> 00:11:57,780 Repetition of a certain type of behavior and defense of that behavior. 129 00:11:57,780 --> 00:12:04,260 So how do we get out of it? Number one, you have to want to. 130 00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:09,000 You have to want to get out of it. 131 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:19,580 The Hebrew writer put it this way, "He who comes to God, must believe that He is." 132 00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:25,620 Hebrews 11:6. In other words, you must want to believe, for faith to be formed in you. 133 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:32,980 No one can force you to believe. You can't arm twist somebody into faith. 134 00:12:32,980 --> 00:12:39,420 Several years ago a man, not in this congregation, called me about his son and 135 00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:45,500 he wanted to know what to do to make his son give up the homosexual 136 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,430 lifestyle. As you know, I once to put out a book on that topic. 137 00:12:48,430 --> 00:12:51,400 So I used to get a lot of calls from other preachers and 138 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:56,480 other people in the church, asking for resources or advice. 139 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,820 Anyways, he had called me because he had read the book and 140 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:03,220 he wanted to know. He said, my son came out. 141 00:13:03,220 --> 00:13:08,260 Acknowledged that this was the lifestyle he was following, and I want him to come out of this lifestyle, 142 00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:13,880 so what do I do? We talked for a while and in the end I told him that nothing could be done 143 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:20,500 until the young man wanted to come out of this sinful practice and lifestyle. 144 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:27,942 No amount of preaching or pressure or nagging can make somebody give up a bad habit, 145 00:13:27,942 --> 00:13:29,980 if they do not want to. 146 00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:37,120 Now, someone may ask well, how does a person develop a desire to break a bad habit? Good question. 147 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,080 There's no common rule here, but from experience, 148 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:47,260 I can share with you some things that motivate a person to want to break a bad habit. 149 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,740 One of the things, number one, 150 00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:56,500 that gives a person the motivation, perhaps, to want to break a bad habit: the truth. 151 00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,760 The truth. 152 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:04,640 When you know the truth about what you are doing, and that it is wrong, 153 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,160 this may be the spark that gets you going. 154 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:16,240 Sometimes we don't let go because we're not sure that what we are doing is wrong or dangerous or hurtful. 155 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:23,860 If we can be convinced that the habit is truly a bad one, a sinful one, a hurtful one, 156 00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:27,260 this sometimes motivates us to want to break it. 157 00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:32,560 That's why, in the topic of that man, that brother who called me about his son, 158 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,740 that's why parents and family and friends must not 159 00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:47,200 compromise with what is right, when dealing with someone they love who has a bad habit. 160 00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:51,760 That same person and others, since 161 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,300 talking about people in their family they love their husbands, 162 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:58,450 women their husbands - my husband just acknowledged to me that he was gay. 163 00:14:58,450 --> 00:15:04,240 What do I do? Or my son or whatever. 164 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:08,480 Do I just never talk to them again? 165 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:14,020 No, of course not. They're your son, your daughter, you love them. They love you. 166 00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:16,560 You can talk, you can communicate. 167 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:21,060 You can actually even encourage the good things that are happening in their lives, 168 00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:25,000 obviously not everything is bad in their lives. 169 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:32,940 But whatever you do, do not compromise the truth about that particular topic in their presence. 170 00:15:32,940 --> 00:15:36,240 Don't start watering it down. 171 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:40,180 It's wrong. It'll always be wrong. 172 00:15:40,180 --> 00:15:44,920 So we can talk about your new house, and then I can go see the new car. 173 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,940 Help you go buy that car you want to buy and give you some advice. I'm your dad. 174 00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:49,779 I know about cars. 175 00:15:49,780 --> 00:15:53,340 We can go to the ballgame together, that's fine. 176 00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:59,640 But if you want to bring your boyfriend to the house, no. Why? Because it's wrong. 177 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:06,200 Because this area in your life is wrong. 178 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,500 Instead, friends, family, 179 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:17,340 will compromise the truth, in order to maintain a happy relationship. 180 00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:21,740 That's a very short-sighted strategy. And when you do that, 181 00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:30,500 you're not loving that person's soul, because the only thing that will save that person's soul is if they finally accept the truth and 182 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:40,720 deal with it. And I mention homosexuality, but any other bad habit is the same thing. 183 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,610 Another motivator, love. 184 00:16:43,610 --> 00:16:49,240 Love is a great motivator. Sometimes you don't care about the effects of your bad habit on yourself, 185 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,400 but you care about how it affects other people. 186 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:58,460 Some people give up booze because it's ruining, not just themselves, but it's ruining their families. 187 00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:00,540 Some give up tobacco, 188 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:07,720 in all of its forms: smoking, chewing, whatever. They give it up, not because they don't like it anymore. 189 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:11,240 They give it up, because all of a sudden they see their son 190 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:18,780 pretending he's got that or pretending he's smoking, like a candy, but he's pretending it's a cigarette. 191 00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:28,300 I've told you before, children don't do what you say, they do what you do. 192 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:38,740 Other people will get help for their outbursts of anger, because they see the frightened look on the faces of the ones they love. 193 00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:42,500 They finally say to themselves, man, I get I get a hold of myself. 194 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:49,060 I've got to stop scaring my children half to death every time I lose my temper. 195 00:17:49,060 --> 00:17:55,240 Those who refuse to break habits, even with the pleadings of their loved ones, really love their bad habits, 196 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:59,320 more than they love their loved ones, no matter what they say. 197 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:03,280 Talk is cheap. 198 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:08,240 Another motivator to deal with that habits: pain. 199 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,820 Pain. 200 00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:14,540 Sometimes your bad habit turns around and bites you. 201 00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:18,200 You get sick because of it. 202 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:23,140 I remember as a little kid, my cousin came to my house, to babysit. 203 00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:26,319 He was like 18, and I was just a little kid, 11 or 12. 204 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,400 And he smoked. And I, oh, I wanted to try it. 205 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:36,120 He said sure. And he let me smoke four, five, six cigarettes that night. 206 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:43,380 My parents came home and my mother's question was, why is Michael green? 207 00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:49,040 I was so sick. 208 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:57,420 Or you hurt somebody because of your bad habit; or you get in trouble 209 00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:01,400 because of your bad habit; or you lose your job; or you lose your reputation, 210 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:08,320 your money, your family. Eventually your bad habit ruins you. 211 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:16,720 Some people have to hit bottom, like the prodigal son, before they start dealing with their problems. 212 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:22,900 People who ignore the pain and go on, are truly ignorant and rebellious in God's eyes. 213 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:29,680 And believe it or not, they deserve the condemnation that they're going to receive. 214 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:39,440 When the truth doesn't work, and love doesn't work, and pain doesn't work, there's not much left. 215 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,920 Well, there is prayer. 216 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,720 I could have put that one first. 217 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:53,500 Sometimes you have to ask God to put the desire to break the habit into your own heart. 218 00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:58,640 And to put it positively, sometimes you have to pray and ask God, 219 00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:06,560 God, please put into my heart the desire to live without this habit. 220 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:14,700 Because one of the reasons people don't let go of the bad habit, is because they don't think that they will be 221 00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:18,020 able to live without it. 222 00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:25,480 They won't be able to live without the comfort, whatever, the excitement, the pleasure, 223 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,140 that their bad habit gives them. 224 00:20:28,140 --> 00:20:33,963 When I, I mention it again, I remember when I gave up smoking cigarettes when I was thirty years old, 225 00:20:33,963 --> 00:20:39,200 the thought was, I'll never smoke again. 226 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:46,880 I can quit for today, tomorrow, but I will never have that feeling again? I'll never had that - 227 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:52,620 I'll never get that nicotine smack ever again. 228 00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:56,980 Life is long. I'm only thirty, what if I lived to be 90? Well, if I keep smoking, 229 00:20:56,980 --> 00:21:04,560 I'm not going to make it to 40, but I wasn't thinking that in those days. 230 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,980 David said, "Create in me a clean heart, oh, God; and 231 00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:12,260 renew a steadfast spirit within me." 232 00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:19,980 Psalm 51:10. Notice, he says - not increase in me a clean heart, create 233 00:21:19,980 --> 00:21:25,440 in me this thing that I don't have, that I need. 234 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:35,680 David was asking God for something which he, himself, did not have - the strength to produce within himself. 235 00:21:35,690 --> 00:21:42,460 And that was a steady faith that resisted doubt and failure to do God's will. He looked inside himself 236 00:21:42,460 --> 00:21:45,840 and he saw, I don't have that kind of heart. 237 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,940 I need that kind of heart. 238 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:53,127 Sometimes the prayer we have to make is, God I don't have this thing within me. 239 00:21:53,127 --> 00:21:57,460 I don't even want to do the right thing I know I should do. 240 00:21:57,460 --> 00:22:02,380 Please, can you not just give me a desire to want this? 241 00:22:02,380 --> 00:22:08,660 Is anything too difficult for God? 242 00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:16,642 This might be the first prayer to make when deciding to embark on the long road to ridding 243 00:22:16,642 --> 00:22:18,859 ourselves of a bad habit. 244 00:22:18,860 --> 00:22:22,700 Prayer. 245 00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:27,440 So how do we get rid of them? Just to review here, if we've kind of lost track. 246 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:35,100 Number one, you have to want to. And I've given you a couple of things that might motivate you to want to. 247 00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:38,900 Number two, you have to acknowledge it. 248 00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:45,980 If, for whatever reason, you are moved to look for a way out, a way to break your bad habit, the next step is to 249 00:22:45,980 --> 00:22:47,480 acknowledge it honestly. 250 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:56,340 The hardest thing to do is to acknowledge the fact that we have a bad habit, not just a habit, a bad habit. 251 00:22:56,360 --> 00:23:05,060 It is difficult to admit to yourself that you are a wasteful gambler. 252 00:23:05,060 --> 00:23:07,120 That's hard to admit. 253 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:15,560 It's not just, I just do it to relax. I go to the casino. I never spend more than fifty bucks. No more. 254 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:19,720 But I do it every week. And if I could, I'd do it twice a week. 255 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:25,980 Very hard to admit, I'm wasting. 256 00:23:25,980 --> 00:23:29,460 Very hard to admit that you are impure, 257 00:23:29,460 --> 00:23:35,080 sexually. Very hard to say, Dear Lord, I noticed this about myself, I 258 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:39,840 continually entertain impure images in my mind and in my heart. 259 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:48,200 That's a hard one. It's a very humbling thing to say to God, please give me the desire to 260 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:53,020 want to be pure, sexually. 261 00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:57,120 Very hard to admit, I lack self-control. 262 00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:03,780 Whatever I think, I say. Whatever I want to do, I do. There's no filter. 263 00:24:03,780 --> 00:24:07,780 It's very hard to acknowledge that you're a gossip. 264 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:16,280 Or you criticize, or you're lazy, or negative. Very hard to acknowledge those things. I mean really acknowledge it. 265 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:25,180 It's difficult, because you know that when you admit fault, you can no longer participate in it without guilt. 266 00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:28,900 If I finally say, this thing I'm doing is wrong. 267 00:24:28,900 --> 00:24:34,360 Well, then, every time I'm tempted, every time I'm thinking of doing it, 268 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:39,560 I know that what I'm going to be doing is wrong. 269 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:45,360 It's difficult because the moment you admit this bad habit and try to leave it, you must 270 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:52,140 anticipate a life without a habit that you enjoyed. 271 00:24:52,140 --> 00:24:56,400 We love our sins. 272 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:05,560 Isn't that what John tells us in John 3:19, "The light came into the world, the world rejected it." Why? Because the world loved the darkness, 273 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,180 not the light. 274 00:25:08,180 --> 00:25:14,260 We'd rather defend our sins and keep our sins, then abandon them. 275 00:25:14,260 --> 00:25:16,560 So the best way to neutralize 276 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:23,280 the power that a bad habit has over us, is to shine the light of truth on it, by acknowledging 277 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:32,320 exactly what it is and how it is hurting us. I am a gossip. Because of this, I stir up trouble. 278 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:36,240 I can't keep my mouth shut. 279 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:40,040 I can't keep a secret. 280 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,820 I can't be trusted. 281 00:25:42,820 --> 00:25:51,880 If push comes to shove, I'll always think of myself first, before someone else. That's hard to acknowledge. 282 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:57,000 And then, of course, 283 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:03,000 share your problem with somebody else. 284 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:10,780 We confess our sins to God, but in order to stay away from them, we need help from other people. 285 00:26:10,780 --> 00:26:18,200 Sharing our burden with someone else, a spouse, another Christian, a trusted friend, a family member, 286 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,240 minister, whatever. 287 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:25,880 Doing this creates in us the things we need to deal with our bad habits. 288 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:32,240 For example, sharing our bad habit humbles us and in so doing prepares our soul for God's blessings. 289 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:37,360 "He lifts up the humble, He brings down the proud," Luke 14:11. 290 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:41,280 That's the way it works. 291 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:49,480 It strengthens our bond with people who can encourage and support us, through the times that we withdraw from our bad habit. 292 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:58,260 I mean, the 12-step program, alcoholics anonymous, and all of the other blank anonymous: 293 00:26:58,260 --> 00:27:03,780 one-click shopping anonymous, I may join that group. 294 00:27:03,780 --> 00:27:10,280 They all think - they all have the same thing in common, right? 295 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:16,800 Every one of those self-supporting groups, support help group, all have the same thing, the same program: 296 00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,180 you have to acknowledge - 297 00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:28,100 Hello. My name is Mike Mazzalongo, and I am a one-click, Amazon shopping addict. Hello, Mike. 298 00:27:28,100 --> 00:27:38,660 What is that? That's acknowledging to another person that you're weak. 299 00:27:38,660 --> 00:27:45,500 It also strengthens our bond with those people. 300 00:27:45,500 --> 00:27:52,500 Because they can encourage us, and we can encourage them. 301 00:27:52,500 --> 00:27:57,200 Have you never felt the - 302 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:04,700 what's the word I'm looking for - the relief that comes when you share something, 303 00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:10,040 and the person you've shared it with - and it doesn't have to be at a counseling session, 304 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:14,700 you're having coffee with a friend or something and at some moment, you just 305 00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:21,220 realize you're going to own up to something. So you get to that sharing moment, 306 00:28:21,220 --> 00:28:27,820 what a relief after you've said it and that person says, you too? 307 00:28:27,820 --> 00:28:30,340 You feel like that, too? 308 00:28:30,340 --> 00:28:33,620 Man, I thought I was the only one. 309 00:28:33,620 --> 00:28:36,899 Thought I was the only one that felt like that, or struggled with that. 310 00:28:36,900 --> 00:28:44,700 Sure glad to know, I'm not the only one. What a sense of joy you have. 311 00:28:44,700 --> 00:28:51,600 Sharing our problem with another cuts it in half. It makes it manageable. 312 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:57,720 The reason we have the bad habit and that it is ripping us up, is because it's bigger than we are. 313 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:04,100 It's stronger than we are, so when we share it with someone else, it cuts it down to size. 314 00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:07,900 And then the fourth thing, 315 00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:16,980 In this process of trying to break bad habits, fourth thing to do, let God heal you. 316 00:29:16,980 --> 00:29:25,420 Let God heal you. In the end, only God can heal our wounds and make us whole again, spiritually. 317 00:29:25,420 --> 00:29:30,020 We desire to break the habit, we confess it to God and ourselves, 318 00:29:30,020 --> 00:29:32,580 we share it with others for support, 319 00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:41,260 but only God can remove the ache and the sinful desire that is at the root of this evil. 320 00:29:41,260 --> 00:29:47,280 He does this in several ways. First, He heals us through His word. 321 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:58,460 Matthew 8:8, "Lord, speak only your word and my servant will be healed." The centurion said to Jesus. 322 00:29:58,460 --> 00:30:01,500 Speak only your word. 323 00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:09,560 Have you never said that very thing to the Lord in your prayer? Lord, just speak the word and I'll be okay. 324 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:14,000 Give me a word, Lord. 325 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:21,540 God's word sheds the light of truth on our bad habits. It guides us into right conduct and living. 326 00:30:21,540 --> 00:30:25,700 It comforts our hearts and it convicts our consciences. 327 00:30:25,700 --> 00:30:33,220 His word fills the void left by the elimination of the bad habit. If not, 328 00:30:33,220 --> 00:30:39,400 that bad habit is only replaced by another bad habit, whatever it is. 329 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:47,640 This is why regular worship, and Bible study, and prayer, leads to a lifestyle that contains 330 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:54,420 less and less bad habits. 331 00:30:54,420 --> 00:30:55,800 A lot of people, they say, well, 332 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,740 how come sister Josephine's not coming to church anymore? 333 00:30:59,740 --> 00:31:05,260 Because she probably doesn't like what's being said from the front. 334 00:31:05,260 --> 00:31:09,960 Because she's tired of going to class and being reminded, through various Bible classes, 335 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:13,220 that a Christian woman's life is one of 336 00:31:13,220 --> 00:31:16,180 purity and Godliness and 337 00:31:16,180 --> 00:31:20,600 service. Woman or man, it's the same thing. She's tired of hearing that message. 338 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:26,080 She can't hear that message and continue in the bad habit at the same time. 339 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:27,780 That's why she's not coming. 340 00:31:27,790 --> 00:31:33,600 He's not coming. 341 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,880 God heals us through His holy spirit. 342 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,200 The Bible calls Him, The Comforter. 343 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:47,800 Paul tells us that we overcome the sin in our lives through the power of the holy spirit, Romans 8:13. 344 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:56,940 The spirit of God works directly with our spirit, to strengthen us in dealing with our bad habits. 345 00:31:56,940 --> 00:32:04,360 You could say that the word shows us our faults and the holy spirit gives us the strength to do what the word 346 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:10,840 requires of us. They work in concert. 347 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,160 And God heals us through people. 348 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:23,480 If you want to let go of bad habits, you need to be with people who will not encourage you in evil, 349 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:32,600 who are themselves filled with the holy spirit, who will confront you with the word of God, 350 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:37,780 who have overcome the bad habit that you're trying to overcome. 351 00:32:37,780 --> 00:32:44,260 I'm inspired by seeing older Christians who have overcome the things that I'm still dealing with. 352 00:32:44,260 --> 00:32:45,880 And where do I see those 353 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,580 older Christians or more 354 00:32:48,580 --> 00:32:55,720 mature Christians than I? Where do I see them? Not at Lowe's. 355 00:32:55,720 --> 00:33:02,460 Not at work. Well, my work is different, but you know, not at Tinker. 356 00:33:02,460 --> 00:33:09,820 I see them here. They're congregated together, several hundred of them, several times a week. 357 00:33:09,820 --> 00:33:12,299 You can't get rid of a bad habit in a vacuum. 358 00:33:12,299 --> 00:33:16,160 You need to draw close to God, so He can heal you through His word, 359 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:23,660 through His spirit, and through the love of His people. 360 00:33:23,660 --> 00:33:31,980 It's easy to shrug off this lesson. 361 00:33:31,980 --> 00:33:37,640 I mean, you can say, well, it's Sunday night, the sermon counts for less, 362 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,820 Sunday night sermon. 363 00:33:40,820 --> 00:33:46,580 Or you can say, well, everybody's got bad habits. You know, so what? 364 00:33:46,580 --> 00:33:54,920 The question is, however, what about your bad habit? Pretend the only person to show up tonight was you? 365 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:58,220 I would have preached this sermon anyways. 366 00:33:58,220 --> 00:34:06,900 I tell people, 50 people, 500 people, 5,000 people, you get the same sermon. 367 00:34:06,900 --> 00:34:16,360 Are you ready to deal with your bad habit? Are you ready to admit it, to share it, to give it to God? 368 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:22,340 One thing's for sure. We all need to break our bad habits. The problem is, when? 369 00:34:22,340 --> 00:34:25,260 When do we begin the process? 370 00:34:25,260 --> 00:34:30,760 Because when you begin the process, you are on the road to victory. 371 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,600 So I hope today will be that day. 372 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:37,980 For many of us here, in this congregation, of course, those who 373 00:34:37,980 --> 00:34:39,900 watch online, 374 00:34:39,900 --> 00:34:45,520 if you need to break the habit of disbelief and 375 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:50,880 refusal, to obey the gospel, because if you haven't obeyed the gospel and every time you hear it, 376 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,100 you put it off, 377 00:34:52,100 --> 00:35:00,700 well, that's the habit of refusing to obey the gospel. That's your bad habit. Your number one bad habit. 378 00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:07,200 So if you need to break that habit by coming forward and confessing Christ in repentance and baptism, 379 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:11,960 let's do that. If you need to be restored or if you need the prayers of the church 380 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:20,440 to break that bad habit, if you need an elder to pray for you, so that you might begin to have the desire 381 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,040 to break all of your bad habits, whatever it is, 382 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:28,920 we've met here tonight for that very purpose, to minister one to another with God's word and 383 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,720 through the fellowship of the saints and through the 384 00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:35,580 ministry, one to another. So if you are in need of ministry, 385 00:35:35,580 --> 00:35:43,080 I encourage you, come forward now. Come receive God's gift of forgiveness as we stand and as we sing the selected song.