Alright, so here we are. Top 10 Sins and Struggles. This is lesson number
10 of this particular series, and tonight we're going to be looking at the number
two issue and as we do from week to week we're going to count them down. These are
the top 10 that we've had so far. Number 10 laziness, number 9 anger, number 8
cursing and gossiping, number 7 pride, number 6 neglecting church, number 5
there was a tie there, coping with change and coping with conflict (as many people
checked off each box there, so we had a tie), number 4 easily discouraged, number 3
overanxious or worried, that was a struggle people were dealing with, and
then number two, coming in at number two, overly critical. Isn't that amazing? Overly
critical seems to be something a lot of people, a lot of people, struggle with. So
the second highest rated sin that was described and one that people of every
age and every gender deal with. You can be 14 years old and have to deal
with being overly critical or you can be 84 years old and deal with the problem
of being overly critical. OK, so let's define the word, a good place to start.
The word criticism itself is neither positive or negative. It comes from the
basic idea of criterion. Criterion. A criterion is a standard or a principle
by which something or someone can be evaluated. For example, in the engineering
field there are the specifications for a piece of machinery used as a criterion
to judge or evaluate the quality or the value of that part made by different
companies and so the parts that if you're sending out a bid and so
on and so forth, you're looking at the various companies sending you parts,
the parts that adhere most closely to the specifications, the criteria, would be
judged most valuable, best quality. So a criterion is the standard against which
you measure the value of something or someone, that's neither positive nor
negative, that's not a moral thing, it just is the way we do things. Now once we
understand the idea of a criterion, we can put the problem of criticism into
perspective. Criticism is the judging or the evaluating of a person or thing
based on certain criterion. So there are two forms of criticism, the first is
legitimate criticism. Legitimate criticism, a qualified person makes an
informed judgment based on acceptable criterion. For example, a Quality Control
Manager examines a product based on manufacturing specifications. How many
people work in quality control? It's very important; companies put out products, you
know those products have to have a certain measure of quality, it's to their
advantage that they themselves police themselves and make sure that their
products meet a certain standard, that's quality control, a
part of what they do. Another example of legitimate criticism, a teacher corrects
a student's assignment on a given subject, that's legitimate criticism. A
parent judges the behavior of a child based on the house rules, that's
legitimate criticism. A journalist analyzes government policies against the
impact on society, legitimate criticism. So there are a lot of examples, but I've
chosen a few examples of legitimate criticism to put to rest the false
notion that it's wrong to criticize. I hear people say that all the time, 'It's wrong, you
know you shouldn't criticize.' Where do you get that from? Do you live in the
real world? There are many examples, as I said, to demonstrate. I've just given you
a few here to demonstrate that there is such a thing as legitimate criticism.
Legitimate criticism is very important and it's necessary; to test the
validity of products, to test the validity of ideas, to test the behavior
of people. All these debates that we've had, political
debates, say what you want, the purpose of them is to evaluate the
legitimacy of each candidates ideas. It doesn't always work out that way,
they end up calling each other names a lot of times, but the purpose of
it is to allow people to criticize. In other words, to evaluate. Of course, to be
legitimate criticism needs to possess three basic components. First, a criterion
for judgment. In other words, for criticism to be legitimate it must use
an acceptable standard in its evaluation. You know the old story you can't judge
you can't compare apples and oranges? That's not a legitimate basis
for criticism. Proper criticism needs a consistent and legitimate standard to
measure against, otherwise it's not fair, it's not good criticism. Secondly,
legitimate criticism requires a knowledge of the subject. The
more knowledgeable the judge, the more valuable the criticism. Part of
the work of "experts" is to offer criticism within their field of
expertise in order to raise the level of quality and to raise the level of
knowledge. Criticism, very important. And thirdly for criticism to be
legitimate, a criterion, knowledge of the subject and an unbiased attitude. And
there's the problem in the political discussion that we're having, right, it's
just that it's so biased. It's so left or right, you know what I'm
saying, that people are having a hard time evaluating the proposals and the
ideas of the candidates because those who are criticizing them a lot of them
have an agenda and that's what's creating a lot of heartburn
among voters. The most valuable and constructive criticism
comes from a knowledgeable and unbiased judge. This is why many companies,
especially pharmaceutical companies, have to send their products to outside
companies for evaluation. You don't evaluate yourself. You don't evaluate
your own product, you send them to someone else. That gives you even
more credibility when your idea or your product or whatever, when you can say
this here has been evaluated by third party that has nothing to do with me or
my company they're third party. So when criticism contains these basic
elements, it serves its purpose, which is to separate and evaluate the good from
the bad. OK. Now the Bible makes reference to legitimate forms of
criticism in First Corinthians chapter 11 verse 31. Paul says, "But if we judge
ourselves rightly, we would not be judged." In some of your
translations that first word "judge", "but if we judged," in some of the versions
it says examine, if we examined ourselves and that's a little a little closer to
what the original Greek word means. So that first word examine or judge, is from a
Greek word which means to distinguish or to discern, to evaluate according to a
standard. Paul could have said, 'But if we criticized ourselves.' The point I'm
making a lot of times is just when we even mentioned the word criticism, right
away people think that's negative, right away they think that's a bad thing and
I'm trying to say to you, no it's not a bad thing all by itself. Paul even says,
"But if we criticized ourselves," evaluated, judged ourselves, right? Then the second
word translated judge, "we would not be judged," means to condemn as in a court of
law. So Paul says that if we criticized our own attitude and conduct in worship
carefully he says, according to the standard of good conduct, we would not be
condemned for our poor conduct. So the point of legitimate criticism is to
identify and remove what is lacking, what is flawed with the goal of restoring to
what is best according to an accepted standard. I mean what is it that coaches
do in any sport? They criticize. They criticize, they evaluate, they evaluate
and they have a right to evaluate, why? Well, if your a baseball coach, if your
a coach, have you seen a thousand guys bat? Have you seen ten thousand guys bat? You
kind of know, you know you can tell the difference between somebody who knows
what they're doing and somebody who isn't. Without the coaching, or take the word
coach out, without the "criticism," none of the players can be
evaluated properly, can improve. OK. So let's get the idea here out of our minds
that all criticism is bad. No. There is proper criticism and it's important.
Alright another type of criticism and here's where we're getting to what we're
talking about is illegitimate criticism. Now in our survey I don't think people
were concerned about giving or receiving legitimate
criticism. I believe the concern was the problem of illegitimate criticism. Now
there are several forms of illegitimate criticism. One is criticism without
criterion. This is the most common type of negative criticism. People criticize
without cause, without knowledge, without standards. They criticize without
thinking, without basis. A lot of people I've noticed, a lot of people hide their
criticism behind the comment that they're just giving an opinion. You know
when people are they're talking to you and they make a
negative criticism and then they say 'just saying. I'm just saying.' what they're
saying is 'I'm just giving my opinion,' but in this case an opinion is simply
another word for criticism, but some people think that if they wrap their
criticism in an opinion they won't have to take responsibility for what they've
just said. In other words, they won't get called on it. 'I was just saying, it was
just an opinion. I'm allowed to give an opinion.' Yeah, but you're not allowed to
give a negative criticism based on nothing other than your own thinking
wrapped in what you say is an opinion. No, you're not allowed to do that. So if you
have no knowledge and you have no standard, it's better to ask questions or
just remain silent. What does Solomon say in Proverbs 17:28? "Even a fool when he keeps
silent is considered wise." I love that one. I'll repeat it. "Even a fool when he
keeps silent is considered wise." So criticism without knowledge or criterion is ignorance.
Another form of illegitimate criticism is constant criticism. Some people judge
and criticize because that's what they do, they think they were put on earth to
do that. Criticism is their main form of communication and expression. 'How's it
going today?' 'Well, I don't know. Boy, I'll tell you the sun was late.' It's as if
they are compelled to judge and criticize every experience they have or
every person they come in contact with. They meet somebody for the first time,
somebody, Joe introduces Bill over here to Mike, 'Hey, how are you?"
Then Bill goes away and Mike is talking to Joe and says,
'Nice guy, but I don't know. Man, talks awfully loud doesn't he?' You know it's like
they're compelled to offer a criticism on every single thing that takes place.
Here the problem is twofold. The problem is twofold. One, no one person has enough
knowledge to legitimately criticize everything and everybody, only God has
that kind of knowledge. And two, these people are mostly negative in their
criticism. Even in their positive opinions there's always a "but." 'Yeah, that
Bill, a nice guy, but... You know there are times when criticism is needed, but if
that's all a person produces, then it cannot be legitimate because constant
criticism is usually a sign that a person is not happy with themselves and
criticizing everything is a way of deflecting the criticism one feels for
oneself. If I criticize everything and
everybody maybe that'll blow enough smoke up in the air that it won't
come back to me. So we have criticism without any criterion and then we have
constant criticism and then another type is condemning criticism and this is the
most damaging because it may be based on acceptable standards and the critic may
have some knowledge or expertise. The problem is that the judgment, the
criticism, is formed and framed negatively and hurtfully. I mean, let's
face it, since perfection isn't possible it's easy to always frame our critique
in a negative way. I mean the easiest thing to do is to criticize something
negatively. Why? Because there's nothing that's perfect. I'll give you an
example, I think an example that all of us can kind of relate to. I mean
the show now is losing its popularity, I think it's going off the
air, but remember 'American Idol?' Everybody saw 'American Idol' on TV, big
big show for what ten years now? Something like that. And the reason
people were watching 'American Idol,' especially at the beginning, yeah, it was
for the singing, sure, it was for this and that, but it was really for Simon Cowell,
the British music industry individual who had the most biting
criticism, I mean you'd watch TV and he'd say something to somebody and you'd be
watching TV going, 'Whoa. Wow. That was rough. Oouf.' Now here's the thing about
Simon Cowell, he had knowledge, he knew the music business, he knew show business,
he had expertise because he had guided other musicians and singers and
entertainers in their career so he wasn't just talking through his hat,
he knew about the entertainment industry, he was an expert if you wish, but his
criticisms were always framed in negative terms. Even his compliments to
one insulted a whole bunch of others. He said, 'Well, you know, she's the
best of a bad bunch.' I mean like she's the best of a bad bunch. So negative
criticisms often go beyond judging to condemnation and from condemnation to
hurt. I mean his words to some of these young people, singers, whatever they were,
I mean some of them you could tell that they were hurt deeply and I mean to be
shamed like that, to be embarrassed like that, in front of millions of people, I
mean that thing stays with you. I mean if somebody just says something to you in
front of one other person and they do it in a hurtful way, maybe
afterwards you get them together and say, 'You know, I didn't appreciate what you
said and I understand you know maybe I did something wrong here, but I really
appreciate it in the future if you just come to me, you tell me by myself, you
don't have to call me down in front of my friend or in front of
whatever.' Imagine having that done to you in front of the entire, in front of 20
million people, which would include all your family, friends, relatives,
who are watching you. So condemning criticism is the type that is always
framed in negative terms. Here's my point on that one. This is what Jesus is
talking about in Matthew 7 verses 1 to 5 and we'll read that. He says, "Do not judge,"
could put in here criticize, you can replace that word, take, remember we took
that word judge and put in the word criticize, same thing. "Do not judge so
that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged and by
your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the
speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your
own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of
your eye,' and behold the log is in your own?
You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see
clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Now some people always use
this here to say this is the Lord making a command that we should never judge
anyone or anybody. I hear that all the time. 'You call yourself a Christian? Boy.
Doesn't Jesus say thou shalt not judge?' Well, He doesn't say 'thou shalt
not judge,' but they're always referring to this particular passage.
They think that this passage supports the toleration of all kinds of social
and moral misconduct. So you were wrong if you criticize the gay lifestyle for
example. Why? 'Oh, because the Bible says thou shalt not judge. Jesus says
you shouldn't judge. You shouldn't judge me.' And you're wrong if
you criticize someone's poor attitude towards others or their work, always the
same thing, 'the Bible says you shouldn't judge.' But what Jesus is saying what he's
saying is be careful how you judge, He didn't say you mustn't judge, He said be
careful how you judge, not don't ever judge. You need to be careful because you
too will be judged, that's what He's saying. Judgment, it's pretty
sharp, it's a pretty sharp sword, judgment. Be careful how you wield it because it's
going to be wielded against you as well. And He also says in verse three and four
'Don't judge with a beam,' meaning a negative attitude or ignorance or
prejudice in your in your eye. You know, I've criticized, judged, the gay lifestyle,
but I've also written a book about the gay lifestyle and done a lot of research
about the gay lifestyle and I've looked at the history of the politics of this
particular movement, I've looked at the
argument, nature versus nurture, is it genetic, and I've done
research and tried to find some sort of genetic proof that someone is
actually born that way and to this day still have not found it. There's still no
genetic proof that someone is born gay. So my point is yes, yes I have made
criticisms about this lifestyle, but my criticism is not based in ignorance. I
have some knowledge about this and my criticism is not based on hatred, my
criticism, as I think all of ours when it comes to this particular issue, is based
in love because if I do not say to you, 'This is sin. This is wrong. You need to
deal with this thing, then when you come to judgment God will condemn you for
this and I'll be condemned if I remain silent and say nothing.' So I don't have a
thing about gays or homosexuals, I don't have a secret hatred of that. I see that
as a sin, I see that as a moral force in our society that's creating havoc and so
I speak out against the action. Someone says well you listen to music
by individuals who are gay, you're a hypocrite. No, I'm
not. I didn't say that you have to discount every single thing in a gay
person's life, if they're an artist I can appreciate their art, if they're doctors
I can appreciate and even avail myself of their services. The point that I
criticize is the moral point of their lifestyle choice when it comes to human
sexuality, period, that's where that is.
And then Jesus says first evaluate yourself and this will enable you to
recognize and eliminate your beam, in other words, your prejudice, your
ignorance, so you can render a fair and accurate criticism. My judgment would be
hypocrisy if in making my criticism of this lifestyle I myself we're consuming
child pornography, for example. See what I'm saying? There there would be a huge
beam in my eye there if I criticized their lifestyle, but secretly I was
consuming another type of sexual perversion. Haven't we seen this so many
times? National religious leaders who are leading the movement to
denounce homosexual lifestyle blah blah blah and then all of a sudden that guy,
that same guy gets caught molesting children or consuming
pornography, yeah that's... What does a guy like that do? Well, first of
all shut up, be quiet, and deal with your own sin. So negative criticism is
justified if it comes from a person who is aware of the criterion for judgment
and keeps an eye on himself or herself to make sure that the criticism is fair
and does not become simple condemnation and bullying. Like I said, criticism is a
very sharp sword, you have to use it carefully, because you can hurt
someone and you can hurt yourself. So as Christians we know that
criticism is sometimes necessary and when done correctly it can be quite
helpful. We can, however, avoid the temptation to become people who are
given to too much or too negative in criticizing other people if we remember
a couple of simple rules about the use of criticism in general and here's in
all of these lessons, we talk about the problem as we've talked about
criticism tonight, legitimate forms of criticism, illegitimate forms of
criticism to kind of analyze the problem a little bit and then
hopefully we try with a couple of ideas of how do I deal with
that if that's my problem If I find myself always defaulting to a negative
opinion about people or things, if I love to criticize that's all I do
constant criticism, if that's my problem, what are some of the things I
can do other than understanding that this is maybe a problem of mine, what
else can I do?Well, here's some other things you can do to kind of tamper this
very human weakness that many of us have down. First of all, use criticism
sparingly. Yes, the Bible doesn't say 'thou shalt not criticize.' Yeah we're not...
God doesn't demand that we never criticize, but we need to use it
sparingly. No matter how much expertise and insight you have or how fair you are
about it, nobody likes to receive criticism, nobody. Even if it's a hundred
percent true and they know it, nobody likes to be told where they're wrong or
where they're weak, nobody likes it. Now there's no rule that says that you have
to give your opinion on everything. When it comes to criticism the old saying
'less is more' truly applies. So one way to break yourself from the habit of
being overly critical is to offer your criticism only under the following
circumstances, ready? A - use criticism when your criticism will save a person from
evil of some kind. In other words, when your criticism may help a person avoid
harming themselves, hurting themselves, sinning against God in some way. Secondly,
use criticism when your criticism is based on your true expertise, whatever
that is. Some people think that their expertise is the giving of criticism.
they don't know nothing about nothing except how to critique people. So it
doesn't matter if it's your golf game or if it's how you mow your lawn or you
know what I'm saying? They have an opinion. So make sure if you're going to
give criticism, it's really about an area that you know something about. And then
thirdly, use criticism when someone actually asks you for your
opinion. That's the hardest part. Parents of grown children, that's the most
difficult thing to do, to bite your tongue and not give your opinion when
you have not been asked your opinion. The point I make here is, you know what? You
manage to learn and get to where you are and they will too. Following these rules
for the times that you offer criticism will greatly reduce those times and
along with them the trouble caused by improper criticisms. So number one, use
criticism sparingly. Number two, balance your criticism. I think most
people know where I'm going with this. Of course, there's always something negative
that you can base your entire judgment on, this is an imperfect sinful world, yes,
but the bitter will be so much
more palatable if you provide some sweetness to help the medicine go down.
Sometimes there's a need to make a judgment call on someone's sin or failure
and you are the right person to do this. However, if a ray of hope and
encouragement are provided along with the bad, a person is not left feeling
completely lost or defeated. When you're giving a critique to someone you're not
beating them up. In the Old Testament, all the prophets if you read
the prophets and if you read their prophecies in a critical way,
you'll notice something very interesting, when the prophets are chastising the
Israelites for their sins and their moral failures, they would follow a
pattern OK? They're writing followed a pattern They would begin by
listing the offenses that the nation had committed. They then would warn them of
the terrible and sure punishment that God was going to lay on to the people
because of their failures, but they would always finish with the
promise that God would eventually restore them to a position of hope one
day. Even at the worst moment when Jeremiah was saying to the southern
kingdom, 'You people are lost. You people are in idolatry. God is going to come in
and He's going to destroy the city and the temple, He's going to wipe you off
the face of the earth and you will be brought into exile, but then he says but
70 years later, but 70 years later, God in His mercy will take a remnant and will
bring you back and you'll rebuild the city and you'll rebuild the temple and
each man will have his vine and each man will have his olive tree and
there's always a ray of hope there. So balanced criticism builds a person up,
because a fair assessment of both the bad and the good is made about them when
it is needed. So a good rule here is to include two good things for each
negative thing so that the net result is hope for the future from the base of
good things that are now present, and I know that's hard to do. It's always
harder to find two or three good things to talk about, it's easy to
get two or three negative, but believe me, a couple of good things and
just one negative thing usually is about as much as a person can take. And then
number three, we finish out here, always criticize self first. If you feel the
need to talk to brother or sister so-and-so about a particular thing,
you're going to make a critique, you know that it's true, you have some so on and
so forth, the best type of critique is the one that has taken a long look
at self first. When we do this, we tend to be a little more merciful and a little
more humble in our approach to the person we're about to offer our
criticism to. Paul says in Romans 2:1, "Therefore you have no excuse, every one
of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn
yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. So Paul says that there's no
excuse for one who criticizes someone else for the things
that he excuses in himself. So usually when we see ourselves we're less prone to
criticize others and when we do, as I say, we're a little more generous, a little
more generous. And then one last thing, number four, so use criticism sparingly,
balance your criticism, always look at yourself first, and then realize that
Jesus, He's the true criterion. The problem with criticism and judgment and opinion
especially of other people is that we tend to use ourselves or our best image
of ourselves as the criterion. If I use myself as the standard and
judge everybody by my standard, even if it's a hundred percent true, it won't be
accepted. So if we compare and judge ourselves and others to Jesus as the
standard, then there'll be no jealousy, there'll be no negative envy, there will
be no false criticism. If I'm saying to my brother, 'Brother, I am trying to be
like the Lord in this way and I encourage you to try to be
like the Lord in this way,' how can he be angry at me? I'm exhorting this brother
to do what I'm doing towards the Lord. I mean we all fall short of
God's glory, we're all in need of his mercy, I think everybody knows that. So
this attitude creates patience and mercy, kindness, long-suffering,
forgiveness towards other people. Instead of criticism, there's concern. Instead of
judgment, there's joy that no matter what our failings, all of us have been saved
by the blood of Jesus Christ. So in the end, when the beam is removed
from our own eye, we see all men as Christ sees them, the objects of His mercy and
salvation and I tell you this, if Jesus isn't criticizing me anymore, then
you shouldn't be criticizing me anymore unless I'm disobeying Jesus. We're always
exhorting each other to be our best selves in Christ and I think when
our criticism is couched in these type of terms, it'll be acceptable to
other people. OK, so there's some information about over criticism and
some of the things we can do.